tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6703617126987503327.post4463493326847439212..comments2023-10-24T08:03:35.345-05:00Comments on Ramblings & More: The Ws (and H)ham1299http://www.blogger.com/profile/04571203527388227830noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6703617126987503327.post-43880542004711743322010-10-16T09:32:53.000-05:002010-10-16T09:32:53.000-05:00Happy Birthday to Natalie! I can't believe it...Happy Birthday to Natalie! I can't believe it's been 3 years. Where has the time gone? I look at my little guy and mourn the baby days I missed out on. Had I known he'd be my last I can't help but think that I'd have savored them a bit more if you will.Chrisnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6703617126987503327.post-88046882423777091622010-10-16T18:59:45.000-05:002010-10-16T18:59:45.000-05:00I know exactly what you mean! (((Hugs))) Even thou...I know exactly what you mean! (((Hugs))) Even though he wasn't my last, I mourn those times with Grant. The PPD really stole his babyhood – especially the newborn days. :'(ham1299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6703617126987503327.post-1845178678785795942010-10-17T08:01:44.000-05:002010-10-17T08:01:44.000-05:00(((hugs))) for you too!! I'm sorry you went t...(((hugs))) for you too!! I'm sorry you went through the same thing...it really is horrible. The PPD did the same for me too. I lost so many opportunities to really enjoy those days of baby snuggles, etc. :-( Maybe that's why I coddle him a little bit more than Adira...perhaps I'm trying to make up for it somehow. I guess I should concentrate on the fact that I got out of the PPD and be satisfied with that, but even so I can't help but mourn those lost days. *sigh*Chrisnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6703617126987503327.post-9206383799647242942010-10-20T18:10:26.000-05:002010-10-20T18:10:26.000-05:00I know exactly what you mean. It sucks. I think, f...I know <em>exactly</em> what you mean. It sucks. I think, for me at least, part of the struggle is forgiving myself. Not that I could have done anything differently – PPD probably would've hit regardless – but guilt still tries to settle in. Forgiving myself for all but rejecting him until the meds kicked in is a constant battle. (I did the bare minimum. Fed him, changed him, tended him when he needed me, but otherwise avoided him. Poor thing! :-( )ham1299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6703617126987503327.post-66422760375141036502010-10-23T06:22:01.000-05:002010-10-23T06:22:01.000-05:00Well, when Grant was born, it was labeled a trauma...Well, when Grant was born, it was labeled a traumatic birth because of the 2 hours (and 1 minute, according to the nurse LOL) of pushing. And, it was very difficult. Plus, I went into it severely sleep deprived (because of Abby being sick). I think all of that played a part in what ended up as PPD. (The sleep was a HUGE factor, I am sure. I do NOT function well when I don't get enough sleep.) Natalie's birth, while more painful (because I hadn't basically passed out during it), was MUCH easier. The only reason I ended up pushing for about half an hour was because the contractions were so close together I could barely breathe! But, her birth was very easy, and she was the easiest baby. I think that played a big part, of course. But, also, I think I was just in a better place - plus, I was still on the Zoloft. But, statistics say that women who have boys (check) and give birth during winter (close enough for Grant - December 20) are significantly more likely to succumb to PPD.ham1299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6703617126987503327.post-18197198872734180362010-10-23T05:11:33.000-05:002010-10-23T05:11:33.000-05:00(((big hugs))) It really is hard to resist the gu...(((big hugs))) It really is hard to resist the guilt!!! I kwym about forgiveness - I know I need to because it's spiritually unhealthy to carry it. But it's really hard. When I first found out I was pregnant with him, I was happy. But I already had PPD from Adira, so I remember at some points during my PGy when DH and I would bump heads that I actually wished I wasn't pregnant. :( Not sure how to ever forgive myself for that! I know I wasn't in the right frame of mind, but even so, it's something I've never admitted to anyone until now. And then when he was born I loved him so much but felt so numb toward both the kids that I felt I was just going through the motions of taking care of them - feedings, changings, etc - that I was like a live-in babysitter. Oiy, how it messed me up for so long. I regret not seeing my midwife about it sooner. Waiting until Emil was 2 was a huge mistake!Chrisnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6703617126987503327.post-65489209071329917492010-10-23T05:14:24.000-05:002010-10-23T05:14:24.000-05:00I meant to ask, how were you when Natalie was born...I meant to ask, how were you when Natalie was born? DH and I keep talking about having another one, but I'll be honest with you - I'm scared the PPD will come back again. I'm finally at a point in my life where I'm the happiest I've ever been and I'm not eager to do anything that will interrupt that, kwim?Chrisnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6703617126987503327.post-69387374120782824502010-10-23T06:18:02.000-05:002010-10-23T06:18:02.000-05:00(((Hugs))) Don't beat yourself up over it. I h...(((Hugs))) Don't beat yourself up over it. I have to say I had no idea you and I pretty much experienced the same thing! (((Hugs)))ham1299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6703617126987503327.post-65488761823828520702010-10-23T08:48:05.001-05:002010-10-23T08:48:05.001-05:00I never knew that about the extended pushing being...I never knew that about the extended pushing being a contributor to a traumatic birth experience! I pushed for 2 hours with Adira, which I guess says alot now that I know this. I'm glad that things were easier for you with her. (((hugs))) I wonder if the fact that Emil was born in the fall had something to do with it - I used to hate it when the fall would come (dread it even) so maybe that was a contributing factor.Chrisnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6703617126987503327.post-77713597030465358812010-10-23T08:48:05.000-05:002010-10-23T08:48:05.000-05:00Thanks - I appreciate it. I didn't realize ho...Thanks - I appreciate it. I didn't realize how close our situations were either! (((Hugs)))Chrisnoreply@blogger.com