Saturday, November 29, 2008

The Home Stretch!

That's right. We're about to enter the FINAL week of DH's deployment! :-D A week from this very moment, he will be HOME. I cannot wait! I pray this last week flies by, as I am so ready for him to be home. He said today he's finally getting tired of living out of a suitcase and not being home. Saturday, December 6, cannot come fast enough! I had to get groceries today, and I picked up some things that he typically uses and I don't so that we have them when he comes. (I'm hoping that was my last trip while he's away. I also hope I have enough diapers for this week - I'm pretty sure I do.) He gets home about 2:30-ish in the afternoon, so the kids and I will pick him up at the airport. I'm so excited about that. I remember when he went on his first deployment - a little over three years ago. Abby and I picked him up, and were walking from the baggage claim area to the waiting area. He turned round the corner into the hallway, and Abby was so excited! She screamed "Daddy" and took off running to him. It was so sweet (and a little funny, as she had been eating some fruit snacks and left a little trail behind her LOL)! It's definitely a memory I'll cherish. I can't remember if we picked him up last time - I think we did, but clearly it wasn't quite as sweet! LOL I'm hoping this time he'll have all three of 'em running to him. We've talked using Gmail's video chat, and they just LOVE getting to see him while talking! Even Natalie - who shies away from the phone - loved it. She was blowing him kisses - very sweet. Anyway, we're entering the home stretch of being without DH. C'mon, Saturday - GET HERE ALREADY! ;-)

Saturday, November 22, 2008

It's All Downhill from Here ...

... or so they say. The halfway point of DH's time away has been reached and passed. Two weeks from now he will be HOME. :-) December 6 cannot come fast enough! I will say that overall this has gone better than I'd expected. The kiddos are generally doing great, and I'm holding up better than before - maybe that's because I'm not pregnant this time! LOL I just miss HIM. His companionship. His hug. His voice - which sounds different IRL than over the phone! ;-) His smell. His smile. Two weeks - I can do this. Really. I can. Plus, my mom's coming out in a few days to be here for a few days - including Thanksgiving. So, that'll help. I'll finally have some much-needed adult company! And maybe, just MAYBE she'll let me get away - even if it's just to run to Panera and get a chai tea latte. Here's hoping! ;-) Anyway, we are over the hump. We're closer to the end than to the beginning. It feels SO GOOD! Oh, Lord, please help these two weeks fly by - and me to make it through with my sanity in tact - or at least what's left of my sanity! ;-)

Thanksgiving will be weird this year. DH and I haven't ever been apart for Thanksgiving in I don't know how long. This is our ninth Thanksgiving since we were married, and I know we'd spent a couple together prior to our marriage, too. So, it's been 10+ years since we last were apart for a major holiday! I really don't think it'll feel like Thanksgiving. Not even with a meal. But, we'll do our best.

What I haven't decided is whether to get the Christmas stuff down Friday like we normally would do or wait until he's home. Maybe it'll depend on how my back feels - and how heavy everything is! Perhaps I should ask him about it - that might be a good idea. Yes, I will tomorrow - assuming I remember.

Well, I think I'm gonna head to bed early. Grant was up around 5:30 this morning, and wouldn't go back to sleep. So, I am exhausted. Night, night!

Friday, November 21, 2008

Happy Hump Day!

Yes, I know, it's not Wednesday. But, it's still hump day - and, no, I'm not being dirty! LOL Today is the midway point of DH's absence. We've reached the hump - it's all downhill from here! :-) In some ways, it's energizing. In others, it's EXHAUSTING. But, I'm excited. Two weeks from TOMORROW, he comes HOME! :-) I'm so excited. It's odd, but I think I've missed him even more this time - which I so didn't expect. The other times I was pregnant, and I thought my hormones made it worse. But, perhaps this time it's b/c I don't work. It's me and the kids, day in and day out. Always. No breaks for me, unless right now counts, but even then I have to be ready in case I'm needed. I miss his companionship more than I have in the past. I'm sure our new situation accounts for that. But, I'm not complaining - especially with Thanksgiving being a few days away. My mom is coming out - and probably bringing my niece and nephew - so that'll keep us busy. Hopefully the time will FLY! Abby only has 2 and a half days of school. Part of me wishes she was off all week, but I know it's better NOT that way - we clash way too much! LOL

On a completely unrelated note, I decided I wanted a more seasonal template. So, I found a Christmas/winter one. It was so hard to choose! I again went with Simply Fabulous Blogger Templates - I just LOVE her stuff! She recently released her seasonal templates, so I decided to switch. She does an absolutely lovely job!

I have another post I want to write - about my faith. But, it'll have to wait until I'm not falling asleep at the keyboard! ;-) That said, I gotta get to sleep. I'll write more tomorrow.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Day 7: Blah!

I feel like writing, but don't know what to say. I hate when that happens! But, today's been awful for me. I think a large part of it is PMS. Add that to DH being gone and me getting very little adult interaction over the last week and you get what I've been today. My poor kids. I am seriously considering begging my mom and/or sister to come out this weekend!

On a brighter note, I got a very welcome tidbit of good news this morning. DH e-mailed me to tell me that he was off in his calculation of when he comes back - instead of December 7, he'll be home December 6! WOOHOO! Let me tell you - he totally made my day! I was so happy, and I just keep focusing on that. Most of the time.

I'm exhausted, but my hair's still wet from my shower an hour ago and I don't want to look too funny in the morning. *sigh* I'm currently doing a product study for some shampoo, and I'm LOVING this stuff - much more than I'd expected. It's really helping my curls do their thing! :-) EVEN WITHOUT CONDITIONER! That's the amazing part, at least in my eyes. I'll share more about the test somewhere down the road. I'm sworn to secrecy for any product tests and/or surveys in which I participate. I'm not sure when I can talk, but I'm sure once I see the product in question on the store shelf it's likely safe! ;-)

Well, I've run out of coherent thoughts, so I'll go for now. Maybe tomorrow I can post more when I'm actually feeling somewhat cognizant! LOL

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

For Crying Out Loud ~ Day 6

I woke this morning to find dog puke in two places in the kitchen. Nice. Good morning to me! At first I thought it was puke in one spot and shit in another, but cleaning up set me straight. It smelled like vomit. That's quite the interesting pile of doggy vomit, that's for sure. And it's enough to kill the breakfast appetite! That is for sure! Yuck. Now Scooba is running, and so far not getting the worse of the two puke spots. Of course! Scooba just might have to do double duty today.

Aside from that, the morning actually went pretty well. I got Abby to school on time for the first bell, which is a first for me I think! LOL Then I took the other two shopping for groceries. It went pretty well - Grant is definitely a morning person. There's no doubt about that. I've never had him so well-behaved in a store before! (Note to self: Always go as early in the morning as possible if Grant's coming!) There's the added bonus of not many people being there yet - that always helps expedite the trip. Plus, shelves were almost fully stocked throughout the store. Nice. Of course, I forgot to grab a frozen pizza, but oh, well. I remembered all of the milk I needed to get - and with three different kinds to get (skim for me, 2% for the kids, whole for the baby) that's quite a feat! ;-)

Well, Scooba needs some attention. So, I'm gonna get going. Plus, Abby gets off school in 30 minutes. Time to start changing diapers in preparation!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Day 5

:sheep: Seriously? Only? We have 25 days still to go? :faint:Man, this time is creeping by slowly!

I had a ton I wanted to say about an hour or so ago, but - of course - could not get here to write until now. So, I've lost most of it. But, as I type, Grant is supposed to be lying down on the couch. He and Abby AGAIN were bouncing off the walls a little while ago. :bang: This is deja-vu, as Sunday night was like this. Why is it only school nights when they pull this shit? :gaah: I love my kids ... I love my kids ... I love my kids.

OK. The boy is now in bed. Heads will roll, should they start screwing around again tonight! :trouble:

Today wasn't nearly as bad as the weekend was. Thank God Abby had school yesterday! It'll be a lifesaver this time around, I am quite certain! Poor kid is having a bit of a hard time with her daddy gone, so I'm trying not to be too rough on her. But, I'm also not going to cut her too much slack. You know kids - you give 'em an inch ...

I have so much to do right now it's not funny. I don't like being the only person around to do stuff. But I think that's the lazy side of me. The other side of me thrives under these circumstances. It's fulfilling to get everything done that needs to be done. Even stupid things like taking out the trash. Of course, that could be in part b/c I finally get an opportunity to get rid of a bunch of crap DH had been letting pile up in the garage! But, that was yesterday. Today I have dishes - again. Thankfully, we have a dishwasher, so that means I need to empty, load, and start it up. Not too bad - not even when it's on a daily basis. But, I'll do it tomorrow. (LOL No, I'm not going to say that tomorrow, too!) Today has been nuts, and I need some downtime. I also need sleep. See why I'll do it tomorrow? ;-) I did get a small package to send to DH ready to go. After dropping Abby off at school, the other two and I will be heading to the grocery store. Milk - it's always about the milk! Either after that or before we pick up Abby (or maybe immediately after - it all depends on Grant and Natalie), we'll mail the package. He forgot something, and Abby wanted to send him a couple of things. He's also getting a bunch of candy! LOL

I gotta sit down and look at the checkbook. I've no idea where we're at right now, but my brain is mush. The good thing is with Abby gone, I can get more done during the day. Natalie sleeps all morning, and Grant's pretty easily occupied. So, I can get the dishes and maybe even checkbook taken care of after shopping. I just gotta get us ready to go before I go to bed - make my list, find any coupons I have, put my reusable bags where I won't forget them, etc.

I must say, though, that I did get a TON of stuff done today, not the least of it is finally getting the clean clothes put away - on time to start laundry again in a couple of days! LOL I also got the drawer under Natalie's crib back in place. A couple of months ago, Abby jumped on it while it was open. DH and I could NOT get it back in, so it had been placed under the crib, out of the way of walking feet. Today I decided it was enough. It'd be a PITA to have to deal with that next time I change Natalie's sheets. Plus, I was tired of not using the drawer! We paid for the damn thing. I had better get full use out of it! ;-) I'm not entirely sure how I got it in, but I did. I cleared plenty of room for me to work at getting it back in place. I said a quick prayer "Lord, please help me get this thing back in its place" - or something to that effect - and set to work. Once I finally got the rollers in place, I pushed until it resisted. Then I sat and pushed with my legs. That was cake - and I still can get it open. It sticks a little, but it's easily opened anyway. And, yes, I did remember to praise and thank God for that little bit of help. Proof once again that He does care about the little things, too! :-)

Well, it's getting late and I gotta prep for the morning. I also need to sleep.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

No One's Dead ~ Yet

Man, I cannot wait for school tomorrow! Absolutely cannot wait! Abby had a half day Thursday, no school Friday, and DH left early Friday. It's been a long weekend, that's for sure! And they're driving me bonkers. It's been cold, so I've been dragging them around town getting Christmas shopping done to get them out of the house. Oh, my, gosh! I never want to do it that way again! I've never had them misbehave like this. Now, granted, shopping with me likely is EXTREMELY boring, but c'mon! I became one of THOSE moms - you know, the one with the out-of-control kids running through the aisles! I tried to give the kids away to passers-by, but no one wanted them. I wonder why ...

And now, I got interrupted writing this because Abby and Grant decided now would be a good time for playing - LOUDLY, I might add - in their room. Grant had already been asleep for about an hour, and Abby was apparently incapable of going to bed without him waking. Usually, he goes right back to sleep. Not tonight. So, I brought him back downstairs with me so Abby can fall asleep. She's got school tomorrow, otherwise I'd bring her back down until I'm confident Grant's asleep.

Have I mentioned how EXHAUSTED I am? I'm on Day 3 of DH being gone and have no idea how I'm gonna make it another 27 days! Well, I know how - by the grace of God. Without His help, this wouldn't work. On one hand, I'm grateful for school - gets one of the three out of my hands for a bit. (And, honestly, it's the one who tends to be the least cooperative.) On the other hand, I'm not happy about school - because it just adds to the stress. I gotta worry about getting her to bed early enough, getting her to school on time, getting back to the school on time to pick her up (which rarely allows for the other two to get decent naps), some days packing a lunch ... I figure by the time we get into a good routine DH will be home. That's typically how it goes.

Anyway, I gotta go. Dishes are calling my name. Yippee! Hopefully I can go to bed after that.

Friday, November 7, 2008

One day down ...

and 29 left to go. DH left this morning. Fortunately, his travel days are Day #1 and Day #30 of his deployment. I've spoken with him a few times today, and he made it to Austin no problem. So, all is well on that side. Tomorrow is when he starts working.

Today went pretty well, even with Abby having a day off school! :-) The morning was laid-back, with us doing not much of anything once DH left. we just hung out together and did whatever. After Grant's nap, we went to pickup my new battery for my laptop. (My previous battery had suddenly stopped charging - apparently Apple's got some sort of problem with the older batteries, b/c they sent me a new one free of charge!) It took me forever to find the damn place Apple shipped the battery to. Where I live, we have streets and avenues. The streets run north/south, and the avenues are east/west. I was thinking the Apple service shop was on 19th St. But, after driving around a bit, I figured there was no way that was possible. (Where I was driving was where the road ended by the river. It was pretty easy to tell I wasn't in the right place! LOL) Suddenly it hit me - 19th AVENUE, not street! DUH! Sure enough, they were right there - which also is closer to my house, of course! Blond moment? Perhaps - except that I'm not blond ... hmm.

After the Apple store, we (the kids and I) checked out Toys R Us. They were having a sale from 3 p.m. until 10 p.m. tonight, which also carries over into the morning tomorrow - but I don't know the hours. I have most of the kids' Christmas stuff bought AND most of Grant's b-day stuff! :-) Christmas shopping is almost done - I ordered Dh what he wanted (a new hard drive for his laptop) and purchased some stuff for my nieces and nephews last night. Now the other adults on our list are the only people left for whom we need to get something! :-)

The one downside to the new battery for the laptop is I have to calibrate it - which means I couldn't go to bed yet! :-( I forgot how long it takes and started it a couple of hours ago! DOH! LOL I should soon be able to continue the process - hopefully it'll complete most of it's stuff overnight.

I gotta get to bed. I'm too tired. So, I think I'll finish the calibration tomorrow morning. Wish me luck! ;-)

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Deep Thoughts

There is so much going on in my mind right now. I don't know where to begin. Oy! I hate when this happens. I don't have writer's block - I just can't keep up with the thoughts running through this head of mine! It'll probably take me all day to write this. Between interruptions (I love my kids) and my own distraction, it's inevitable. Plus, I gotta pay the bills today. We also need to go to Sam's Club today. DH is going to be gone to Texas for 30 days for work, so I want to stock up on stuff like diapers, TP, etc. He doesn't know this yet, but I'm sure he'll understand when I talk to him about it. More on the Texas stuff later, as I don't feel like talking about that yet.

Or do I? OK. That's the easy topic, so here it goes. DH works for the Army Corps of Engineers, and has the opportunity to deploy for 30 days to help with hurricane recovery efforts in Texas. He's done this twice before - after Hurricane Katrina in LA. The good thing is it's a TON of extra money, and we REALLY need that right now. He said it looks like it'll be 11-hour days with one day off every other week, plus there are two holidays in November for which he'll get holiday pay. Not to mention working over the weekends. This is the first time he'll be gone with me NOT being pregnant! LOL The first time he was gone about three months before Grant was born. The second time he was gone about five months before Natalie was born. But, this is the first time I'm not working. It'll be me and the kids, 24/7. Thank God for school, b/c without it Abby might end up dead (more on that later). But, that means I'll have to drop her off and pick her up - every day. That'll be a HUGE disruption to our usual routine, and will necessitate an entirely new routine. But, I know we'll be fine. It'll be hard - especially since I won't have work as time away - but I know we'll be OK. God wouldn't have given me all three kids if I couldn't handle them. Plus, I think this was somewhat of a Divine appointment. Thursday, I had told DH that if he had an opportunity to go on a 30-day deployment, I'm behind him. He had been thinking of doing one, too. Yesterday he got notification that they're looking for someone. Now he's just waiting for his tasker and travel orders. I pray it comes soon, b/c I want him back for my birthday - December 12! I'm not sure what we'll do about Thanksgiving, but we'll figure it out.

Now the tricky part begins. It all started when I checked out my page on MySpace yesterday. I only get there once every month or two, and yesterday was my first time in quite a while. There was a ton of stuff on there, and getting caught up was a time-consuming venture. I knew that going into it, though. But, when I get to the blog updates, well, the one right on top says "P broke up with me" and is posted by my sister. About a year ago, my sister moved 800+ miles to be with him, and he out of the blue breaks up with her. He basically told her that he woke up one day and didn't love her anymore. Right. Asshole. Oh, yeah, and about a month ago she renewed her lease for another year, which makes it that much harder for her to come home. She's all but said that's what she wants to do. :-( My other sister and I were talking about this last night, and we are going to try to help her find a way home. Her job is another consideration, but I have no doubt that she'd be able to transfer back to her previous location without a problem. For starters, they loved her there. Plus, I've been told they're losing half their employees to a new store that's opening up. So, I think she'd have no problem on the job front. She'd likely move back in with our parents, which means she wouldn't have to pay rent or utilities. So, if worse came to worst, she could live there while paying her lease where she's at now. But that might work in her favor - I'm sure her landlord doesn't want her apartment vacant for almost a year. So, perhaps things can be worked out in her favor. I hope so. I know she needs to be home now - I can tell. When I read her blog and talk to her, I can sense it. My poor sweet sister! :-(

The only bright side to this is that it appears to be working to bring my other sister and me closer than we've been in quite some time. She and I were up late IM'ing last night, and got to talk about all sorts of things. We discussed our other sister's situation and are planning to light a fire under her ass to get her to come home. After talking about that, we discussed other things that I'm glad we did. Very personal, very old things. Family stuff, which I'm not going to share here. Probably not ever. Stuff that personal stays on Vox, where I have full control over who gets to read it. Anyway, that talking was good for us. We've not done any really substantial talk in so long. We needed that. I feel much better about our relationship now.

The flip side, though, is that it made me wonder. Without going into too much detail, I will share some of my thoughts. We discussed family stuff, which I mentioned previously. Part of what we talked about was how neither of us remembers much of our childhood at all. It's like we've got amnesia or something. We were talking about what we did remember, and I'm now wondering if things were much worse than I remember. Did I block it all out? Do I need therapy? Do I want to dig all of this up? I really don't know. To some extent it bothers me not knowing about my childhood. You know those questions people sometimes ask, like "what's your first memory?" or "what's your favorite childhood memory" or pretty much anything along those lines. Am I more fucked up than I'd ever even considered? It could explain a lot ... but, again, do I even want to go there? Maybe it's better not knowing. I guess I have a lot to consider. It won't be now, as I'll be busy enough during DH's absence for the time being. Plus, we also have to look into the financial side. Will insurance cover this? If so, how much? Do we need a referral? If not, can we even afford it? I really hate that the financial picture has to limit this. If I need therapy, I should be able to get it. But whatever. I guess for now I'll just keep on with my considerations. There's a lot to think about and a lot to consider. I suppose I should do so on my knees, too. Pray for wisdom, discernment, etc.

So, in my ponderings, I have many things I wonder. Is healing possible if you don't even know what the injury is? I'm sure superficial healing can happen, but can true - complete - healing happen when there's no idea what's the cause of any pain? I just don't know. So, I guess I'll be in prayer about this. I really can see no other way to go about this. I'm just grateful that I have the Lord to help me discern the right way to approach this.

I am running out of things to say, so I'll just stop here. I'll likely post more about this down the road. If you read it all, thanks for reading! :-)
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