It's Official

I have officially lost 10 pounds since starting to watch what I eat! I am thrilled beyond measure - but also discouraged as it can be tough to maintain complete self control (especially right after Halloween). But, 10 pounds - to me - is a HUGE milestone. I have been begging God for weeks to just let me get to that one milestone so I can feel like I'm accomplishing something. So I can know that my efforts are paying off! I have FINALLY hit it! And really, it's not so bad - it took me about two months to do it. That's really not bad. (Too bad I know that maintaining this rate of loss isn't something I'm likely going to do, but so long as I keep losing I won't complain!)

Looking at this particular first milestone made me realize that I need to reassess my goals. For those who missed my first post on this subject, go here to read the whole story. For the rest of you, here is what I posted as my goals, with updated info in purple.

• I want to wear my wedding and engagement rings again.  Mission accomplished! I have been wearing them for about a month now! I can't get them off easily, but that's OK. I don't want them off! ;-)
  
• I want to look good again. Unfortunately, I feel like I've a long way to go to accomplish this one. But, that's to be expected.
  
• I want to feel good about myself. I wouldn't say I feel good about myself yet, but I do feel better about myself. It helps that my current pants are starting to feel loose. (I'll feel better when I can COMFORTABLY wear the next size down!)
  
• I never want to be embarrassed by my size again. Not there yet, but hope to be soon.
  
• I want to wear normal clothes - no more plus sizes. I am getting there. The loose pants are VERY encouraging!
  
• I want to be healthy. I think once I figure out a consistent exercise routine, I'll see this come to pass.
  
• I want to be a good example for my children - especially my girls. Abby told me the other day that when she's grown up she's going to eat healthy foods and exercise a lot so she can stay skinny. I hope that one day – preferably in the not-too-distant future – she'll be able to see the difference in me.
  
• I want to please my husband - and make him proud of me. He has said that losing 10 pounds is impressive. Hopefully he'll soon be telling me he can see a difference and feel a difference (like when he hugs me).
  

I feel like I'm making decent progress. The impatient side of me, though, wants to see more visible results SOONER! Patience is a virtue, right? Someone says that. And I know they're right. I just don't wanna wait to look better – and to feel better about myself!

Check-in time

It has been three weeks since I first post about getting myself back in shape. (You can read that here, if you'd like.) I thought I should post a quick update as to my progress.

Keep in mind the fact that my main difference is watching what I'm eating. I'm trying to eat no more than 2,000 calories per day. I haven't started into a lot of exercise yet. I am walking more than I had been, but I haven't done much more than that. Yet. I do plan to do more. But, for now, I'm concentrating on my calorie intake first. That said, I'm happy to announce that it's working! I've been steadily losing weight! My average is slightly above 1 lb. per week, and I think that is great! At that rate, I'll be down 50 lbs. at the end of a full year! I can live with that! ;-)

For now, I am pleased to share that I have lost ...

SEVEN pounds!

Yes, that doesn't sound like much, but when you take into account that I started this five weeks ago, I think that's pretty darn good!

My main reason for deciding to post an update is I'm starting to lose some steam. I had decided to share my journey here in part to keep me accountable, so I must update occasionally to maintain that! But, I currently am struggling a bit. I want to lose the weight. I want to get back to my pre-baby weight - or at least out of the plus-sizes! But, it's hard. It's hard to be constantly disciplined and constantly keeping track of what's coming in. It's especially hard because I LOVE to eat out. Generally, eating out is not conducive to losing weight! Plus, I HATE coffee. When I need a boost, I grab a Dr Pepper, but that's not so smart when trying to lose weight! Those are a LOT of wasted calories!

I'm trying to focus on the good - I'm losing weight. If I keep on keeping on, I will find my way back to ME! I cannot WAIT for that to happen!

Time for Change

A few weeks ago, my husband and I met up with a friend from college. This man also happened to graduate from high school with us, but we didn't really "travel" in the same circles. Somehow he and my husband became friends in college (we all went to the same school), and even were roommates for a year. This friend of ours also was a groomsman in our wedding. He and his wife just had their first baby, while we've now had three.

Originally, I thought this meeting was just going to be my husband and our friend, but was called last-minute to find out our friend would like to meet our kids and say hi to me, too. I don't know why, but I immediately was embarrassed - even before meeting up. Embarrassed by how fat I've gotten. How out of shape I am. Three babies in less than 4.5 years is hard on the body, but my youngest is almost two. Some women are back in shape by the time they go back to work - I'm not one of them. Some women found breastfeeding helped them lose the weight - again, I'm not one of them. Some women lose the weight after weaning their child - once again, I'm not one of them. I'm the heaviest I've been (non-pregnant) ever in my life. And I'm not happy about it.

The prospect of meeting with our "old" friend was a bit of a wake-up call. I realized how ridiculous it is that I am embarrassed of myself. I realized how horrible it is that it made me realize how much I hate what I've become. I realized that something has got to change! It is time for me to work to lose this baby weight. Time for me to stop making excuses for myself. Time for me to slim down and feel better about myself.

I have since signed up with MyFitnessPal to help me log my daily food intake and exercise - as well as get some ideas as to what I need to change (aside from the obvious eat less and exercise more). I was shocked to see the number of calories I took in that first day - over 3,000! Since then, I've successfully cut back to no more than 2,000 per day. The eventual goal is to aim for 1,500 calories per day. (I started out trying for 1,500 but was STARVING, and decided it was too much too soon.) So far, I have lost roughly 3 pounds - seems to be the average when taking daily fluctuations into account. I'm proud of myself for that, but this is HARD. Very hard!

I never was a big eater before pregnancy. Pregnancy taught me to appreciate food in a way I'd never done previously. It broadened my still-narrow horizons, and helped me learn to like foods I'd never liked before. Problem is, once my body was done being pregnant, it seemed to still want the same quantities of food. My body seemed to forget how to fuel itself under normal, non-pregnant (and non-breastfeeding) conditions. So, right now, I'm working on cutting back. I have foods I really like, and I tend to overindulge. So, I am now working on allowing myself the foods I love, but in limited quantities.

The other major cutback is my daily Dr Pepper intake. I LOVE my Dr Pepper. It is my coffee. But, that first day of logging what I eat, I couldn't believe how much of my calorie intake was from the Dr Pepper. I decided I had to cut back. Since then, I've had no more than one can of Dr Pepper during the course of any given day. It's amazing the difference from that alone. Not in the weight loss, which so far is minimal, but in how I feel. To my surprise, I actually have more energy now. I have less gas - a LOT less gas. And I think I even have less of my GERD. Who knew such a small, seemingly insignificant, change could make such a huge difference!

At this point, I'm trying HARD not to get discouraged. These things take time. Losing weight slowly, while less gratifying, is better. People who lose the weight more slowly are more likely to keep it off. At least that's what I've heard. So, I thought that maybe I should write about it. For one, it helps keep me accountable. It also can help motivate me.

Speaking of motivation, I have made a list of the reasons for my decision to lose this baby weight. They are:

• I want to wear my wedding and engagement rings again.
• I want to look good again.
• I want to feel good about myself.
• I never want to be embarrassed by my size again.
• I want to wear normal clothes - no more plus sizes.
• I want to be healthy.
• I want to be a good example for my children - especially my girls.
• I want to please my husband - and make him proud of me.

So far, I've lost only a few pounds. But, it's enough that I can happily say that I'm lighter than I was at the end of my first pregnancy. While that doesn't seem like much, it's a big deal for me. Next up is to get down to my pre-Natalie weight. I know I can do it. I plan to reward myself, but I haven't yet decided how. Maybe I'll get my hair done - new style, new color(s), etc. We'll see. I have time!

If you care to follow my progress, I have added a button to this blog (right now it's at the bottom of my sidebar) that says how much weight I've lost. Hopefully I'll have double digits in there soon!