Oh, the drama!

I hate drama - IRL, online, wherever. Well, except on TV - but then I'm actually expecting it and wanting to get lost in it. Any drama other than that which was made for the purpose of entertainment is unwelcome. I. don't. want. it.

Some of you likely will remember that I had some drama going on with my Web site somewhat recently. In some ways, it feels like it was just yesterday; in others, it feels like it was months ago. Funny how that works.

Anyway, the result of that whole stupid ordeal was that one of our members - a staff member, nonetheless - decided to take her leave of the board. I knew she'd be a big loss, but I also understood (and still understand) where she's coming from. But, in her announcement to the rest of Staff that she's leaving, she basically told my co-admin to go ahead and kill the site. She's gone - or something like that. It appears she's getting her wish. She's a sweet individual and a true friend, so I know she didn't actually mean that she wanted to see the site fail. I also know that she hasn't done anything to sabotage to site. I think it was just the fallout from the crap that happened before. Now, the site is extremely inactive and I'm starting to wonder if we'll ever recover. Apparently this individual was the heart and soul of the site - for her absence is what brought this lull in activity to pass.

So, now the question becomes simple: What do I do? Do I watch it die a slow, miserable death? Do I perform e-CPR and do what I can to revive the site? Do I beg the former staffer to return to the site? Do I pull the plug and walk away? Or do I hand the site over to someone else, then walk away? I dunno. Even staff members aren't posting much, which can't be good. I think the whole incident from before had a much bigger impact on them than it originally looked like it had. And I just don't know what to do.

Add to all of this that I've been just overtired. Not sure why. Plus, my wonderful (and I mean it - no sarcasm) husband has decided to work for FEMA again. No, he's not getting a new job. He's still with the Army Corps of Engineers. But, they'll send him to North Dakota to help with all the flooding and stuff going on there. Just like what he's done in the past in New Orleans and Texas - except for once he's going farther north. I get to be the one to brag about better weather! LOL I'm sharing this to say it's just going to get worse. I'll temporarily be a single mom, having to do it all 100% by myself. Sure, I could attempt to ask my family for help, but they're useless. My mom always has a million and one excuses for why she couldn't possibly help me out. (But she's going to try to see my other sister - who is several states away - soon because she thinks my sister needs her right now!) One sister is too far away. The other is VERY, very busy - especially this time of year. And my in-laws? Forget them. They can't make their way up here under normal circumstances. They couldn't be bothered to come up here when our youngest was born. Don't get me started.

Despite all of that, I decided to take on a challenge. It's 31 Days to Build a Better Blog by ProBlogger. I have found that I really enjoy blogging and I have been thinking of ways to make this a better blog. Now I'll have not only a ton of great ideas, but also big-time motivation! I only hope that I'll find a way to really be faithful in this while my husband's away! I am excited about this, and hope that in the coming weeks you'll find this blog an even better place! (Many thanks to My Friend Amy for her Weekly Review post that included this little tidbit!)

Well, that's it for now. Thanks for reading!

Oh FFS

I'm feeling a pull to Facebook. As if I need one more thing to be unable to keep up with online! GAAAAAH! But, I have so many friends who are there and NOT MySpace. Or are on both but never go to MySpace anymore b/c they have Facebook. Sigh.

I know, this is a petty vent, but hey. What are you gonna do?

One more vent. I can't believe I haven't mentioned this here before - I'm sure the lack of power last week is to blame! ;-) Anyway, we have recently had an issue on FROGs, and I'm shaken to the core by it! I can't believe how much it's affecting me. If I think on it too much, I get sick to my stomach, my throat feels tight, and I can feel my heart racing. So not good.

What happened? How did I know you'd ask? Here goes.

We have a member who recently returned to the board after being away for a while. After her return, she sent me a private message to explain her absence. At risk of pissing her off and chasing her away from FROGs for good, here's her message:

Hey Heather. I didn't want to post this on the board and make a issue of it, but I want you to know the main reason I haven't been around and the same reason I am kinda worried about coming back. One of my last posts was about how I felt like I was having a hard time connecting here and that I felt lost sometimes. Well...I recieived a email from someone and I was hurt to say the least. Basically they said that it was God's way of letting me know that FROGS wasn't to be my home and that maybe I would feel more comfortable somewhere else.At first I was just kinbda stunned and was trying to figure out what exactly that meant. But as time went on, I just got mad and decided to stay away for awhile.

I am not telling you this for any other reason than just to let you know why I disappeared. On a different note, it looks like there have been a lot of changes here in the past few months...it looks nice and you are doing a wonderful job!

I read this and INSTANTLY was angry beyond belief and grieved more than I'd have thought possible. How DARE someone on FROGs do that to a sister in Christ? HOW DARE SHE? Despite our best efforts, we could not get the individual who contacted me to reveal the offender. That ticks me off to no end. I understand that she wants it over and done with. She wants to move on. I get that. I also get that she has extended forgiveness and wants to walk in forgiveness. OK. But, why tell us if you don't want something made out of it? Seriously. This is a HUGE deal. So far as I'm concerned - so far, at least - it's the WORST offence to have occurred on FROGs!

And, in addition to being angry and disappointed that it happened, I feel betrayed - by both the offender and the sister who shared this with me. I don't think I should feel that way, but I do. I'm also afraid we'll never find out exactly what happened, and that worries me. I want to know who so I can talk with her and make sure she understands that it is NEVER to happen again. It's not about punishment or revenge or anything like that - it's trying to make sure EVERYONE on FROGs is safe! My biggest fear is that this individual will do this again.

I have so many thoughts and feelings on this, but I'm spent. I can't think clearly or find a way to write it out. So, I'm going to end this post for now. I just had to get some things off my chest.

Me again

I hadn't intended to be away this long. Sorry. Although, I don't think anyone's even reading this so perhaps I'm only letting myself down! LOL Still, this can be therapeutic, so I really should do it more. Now to explain my absence.

It's been a helluva couple of weeks. This past week I've been spending most of my time (when the kids allow, of course) helping a dear friend of mine launch a new Web site. It's phpBB based like mine is, so I've done most of the modifications and stuff. That has been fun - I like doing stuff like that. (Yes, I know, I'm a nerd! LOL) I've even taken a bit of a hiatus from my own site in my efforts to help her get things up and running. I let my Staff know, as I felt they should be aware of my whereabouts. The good thing is I have good people on my site, and me being gone (or in much less than usual) for a while isn't going to cause it to fall apart. I tried to get on a minimum of once per day. I must've done pretty well, as no one seemed to notice my absence.

I have since been made one of four Admin on my friend's site. I haven't let anyone on my site know that yet. Do I have to? I don't think it's a conflict of interests. My site is for Christian women; the new site is for moms. We aren't what some would call "competitors" or anything. Plus, I'm one of FOUR Admin there, all of which can do techie stuff. I might say something at least to my staff. But, I don't want to cause any drama. I know one of my staff members is on the new site, and so far she hasn't said anything about it to me. (If anyone DOES read this and you happen to be on my site, please comment here to let me know your thoughts.)

Well, laundry beckons. So, I must go for now.

I'm still here

Sorry to be so quiet for so long. I haven't intended to be away. I was hoping I'd actually be able to write at least once per day. But, well, I got caught up. I've installed an arcade on my site, and it's taking up my time. No, I'm not spending all of my time playing the games! LOL (Although, I do have to test each one to make sure it works and then properly submits the score.) It's time-consuming to find the games then install them. After that, it's organization and actually activating them on the site. Finally, test. I have one - Marvin's Lucky 13 Solitaire (or something like that) - that works fine, until you go to submit the score. Then I get an error - GAAH! Can't a girl get a break? Then, I took a LOOOOONG time tracking down a couple of my favorites: Sandwich Stacker and Traffic Control. Neither was formatted for this particular arcade, but I was able to get someone to do SS for me. Now to just get TC converted. I wish I knew coding better! :-( I am proud of myself, though, for what I am able to do on my site. I'm learning a little bit of html and php coding. I would love to be able to create awesome Web pages and/or forums. Maybe someday I'll look into some courses on Web design or something.

Before I forget - check out my new Meez! :-)

Well, it's late - I'm off to bed. Hopefully I'll write tomorrow! ;-)

Conflicted

I'm conflicted about what to do with this blog. I want to be able to express myself 100% without worrying about hurting anyone's feelings. But, I also want this to be open to being read. Will anyone find this if I don't point them in the direction of it? I'm conflicted b/c I don't want to shut my friends out, but I don't want to feel like I can't talk about ANYTHING either, kwim?

For example, I recently had a bit of a skirmish with some people on my Web site. Yes, my Web site. I own a domain and board on said domain. I thoroughly enjoy it. I never thought coding and stuff would be so fun! LOL I know, that makes me an ubergeek, but I can handle that label! It's like learning another language - but much more scary. I can make or break my board just by doing one small thing with coding. I love being able to use it as a creative outlet.

Anyway, back to the skirmish. Let's just say that some of my "staff" conducted themselves in a way that I thought wasn't appropriate. Nothing major, in fact I've learned that no one outside of The Team was aware that anything was going on. I just felt a situation could've been handled in a better manner. Now, my original approach was a bit bad, and I did apologize for it. Things do seem to be worked out now, except that one of the individuals isn't getting over it! I am FRUSTRATED with this situation. I can't have the "staff" divided - a house divided against itself cannot stand. How much time do I give her to work through her emotions? When do I say "enough is enough, snap out of it or step down"?

Crap. Baby's waking up. I gotta go take care of her. I'll try to add more to this post later.