Blog Journal: Day 22

Question: What would I use lottery winnings for?

My Answer: I am assuming that we're talking about BIG money. Multi-million-dollar lottery winnings. Am also assuming this is about what I'd do after contacting my lawyer and accountant, claiming it, and paying taxes. After all of that, here are some of the things I'd do:

• Donate a sizable portion to charities: Compassion International, Best Friends Animal Society, St. Jude's, the ASPCA, BGEA (Billy Graham's ministry), and a few others.
• Pay off ALL of our debts: credit cards (and destroy them), loans, mortgage – EVERYTHING.
• Buy a new house with everything I want in it. From the rooms to the decor and appliances, everything exactly how I want it. It also must have separate space for my mom.
• Pay for regular maid service.
• Go to Hawaii, Italy, and many other places I've always wanted to visit. Flying first-class, of course, and staying in nothing but the BEST of hotels.
• Put enough away to help pay for the kids' college educations.
• Save for DH's retirement.
• Invest, invest, invest.
• Get DH a new car – or truck.

See other answers HERE.

Blog Journal: Day 21

Today's is a fun one! :-) Three celebrity crushes!

1. Johnny Depp

He has been my top celebrity crush forever! I remember him in Nightmare on Elm Street and 21 Jumpstreet. *sigh*

2. Matt Damon

I especially like him in the Bourne movies ...

3. James Marsden

I discovered him when my daughter was obsessed with Disney's Enchanted.

Head on over to Emma's place at Toddler Awesome for more!

Blog Journal: Day 20

Today we're talking about the hardest thing we've ever dealt with.

This will be kinda long, as I believe the backstory is important here.

When I was a few months old, my mom left her husband – my biological father. He wasn't a very nice man. While my mom worked to support me, her mother, Grandma Darling, took care of me. As a result I became VERY close to her. In many ways, I saw her more as a second mother than as a grandmother.

Labor Day weekend of third grade, she died. She was 54. She had been battling breast cancer for a couple of years (if my memory is correct), so we knew it was coming. But, I was only 8 (I think), and this was DEVASTATING to me. Absolutely devastating. As I said above, it was like losing a mother. I took comfort in knowing that someday I'll see her again in Heaven, but it still tore me apart.

Exactly a year later, my grandfather (my mom's dad) died suddenly of a massive heart attack. He, too, was 54. He was active, and seemed to be quite healthy, but apparently that wasn't the case. This was a huge shock – and blow – to an already struggling and hurting family. And the timing – to this day that weekend is the roughest of the year for me! To make matters worse, so far as we all know, he died an atheist.

Shortly after that, my great-grandfather (Grandma Darling's father) died, too. I know he was old, and I can't say I remember exactly how he died, but he was a wonderful man. His death was nasty icing on a cake laced with poison.

By the time I entered my teen years, I had one grandparent. And she wasn't very warm. Maybe the fact that she was technically an adoptive grandmother – her son is the only man I've ever known as my dad – was why. I don't know, and never will. She died while I was in college ...

Anyway, as a result of these deaths (I guess), my mom's family pretty much fell apart. She has four brothers, and they just all disappeared. We knew where they were, but no one was talking to anyone. Because of my young age at that point, I can't even guess what all happened. I just know that I went from having a wonderful, loving family to having very little family.

I think that, as a result of all of this pain and loss, I spent a good portion of my childhood – and possibly even teen years – depressed. I have very little recollection of most of my childhood, and maybe that's why.

I know this isn't losing a child or having a miscarriage. But, if you're a parent, imagine your child suffering all of this loss and all of this pain at such a young age. And realize that – as with any loss – it's pain that still flares up on occasion. There are still days I ache for my grandmother – and the others I lost. And Labor Day weekend is STILL a bitch (excuse the language) for me – and my family! Yes, the pain of losing someone lessens over time, but I don't know if it ever goes away.

Blog Journal: Day 19

The question: What are your favorite things/what makes you happy? List 20.

My answer: As always, click on it to see it full size.

To see more, check out Emma's post HERE.

 

Up next: The hardest thing I've ever had to deal with.

Blog Journal: Day 18

Question: What do you collect?

Answer: Well, besides dust bunnies, there aren't a ton of things I collect. I guess you could say that I collect books. I love, love, LOVE reading, and OFTEN buy new books. I have TONS that I have NO IDEA when I'll actually get to read. And that's in addition to the ones I've agreed to review for my book blog, Proud Book Nerd! I also collect unicorn figurines. Not childish ones, but ones that are elegant, beautiful, breathtaking. If they have wings, even BETTER!

Up Next: A list of 20 things you love (or 20 of your favorite things).

Blog Journal: Day 17

I think that after this I'm all caught up ... for now.

The Question: What are your pet peeves?

My Answer: I hate this question. Because it makes me feel like a mean bitch. You see, I'm not the most tolerant of people. So, I'll make a short list – listing them all would take too long ...

• Whiny kids – yes, even my own.
• People driving BELOW the speed limit.
• People not using their turn signals when driving.
• Fake people.
• Complete disregard for proper English (in writing – I can ignore it during verbal communication). If you can't spell (your ≠ you're!!!!!) or use proper capitalization/punctuation, perhaps writing isn't for you. Also, unless you're TEXTING via cell phone, DO NOT use TEXTING abbreviations when writing to me. Ever!

And I'm gonna stop now! LOL

Up Next: Collections. Share stories and/or photos of things you collect. (Can I take pics of the dust bunnies under my bed?)

Blog Journal: Day 16

The question: What is my worst habit?

My answer: Honestly, I'd like to plead the Fifth on this one. I really would. Bad habits are embarrassing to admit to, and I hate sharing stuff like that. But, I suppose that would be a cop out. It wouldn't be in the spirit of doing this Blog Journal thingy!

If I had to pick, it's hard. I procrastinate – HORRIBLY. If I don't have an ACTUAL deadline for something, chances are HIGH that it won't get done. And, I hate to admit it, but that's likely tied to laziness. If I HAVE to do something, HAVE to, I do. But, I value my time to myself, pursuing my own interests, enjoying myself. I don't wanna give that up if I don't have to ...

I also swear. I'm MUCH better about it than I used to be, but it's still too much. Especially when I get overly emotional and the filter gets compromised ...

Coming soon: What are your pet peeves?

Blog Journal: Day 15

The subject for this entry is the Bucket List. Emma wants to know your top 5 bucket-list items. I recently posted a short list of my top two BL items. I'll start with those, and go from there.

My list, in no particular order:

1. Help my children find Christ and become saved. If I accomplish nothing else, I will be happy with just this. I want to spend eternity with them in Heaven!
2. Vacation in Hawaii. For as long as I want. Relaxing on the beach. Reading lots of good books. Not doing anything or going anywhere I don't want to do or see.
3. Get 100% out of debt, and stay that way!
4. Go to Italy. I wanna see Rome, Venice, etc. 
5. See Ireland, England, etc.

Next up: What is your worst habit?

Blog Journal: Day 14

(If you can't read it very well, click on it to see it at its full size!)

See more of today's entries HERE.

Tomorrow's topic: Top 5 on the Bucket List ...

Blog Journal: Day 13

The current question is: What is my ideal age?

This is something I honestly never thought about. And my first thought is, I don't know! When I thought about it, 25 seemed like it. I have no idea why. Maybe that's because that's when I last was thin, and so I equate it with better things. I dunno.

Next entry: A photo of you in the area in which you blog. Yikes. LOL

To see other entries on the idea age, check out the Linky HERE.

Blog Journal: Day 12

If I could go back and change one thing in my life, what would it be?

So, how about you? What would you change?

To see other entries from today, check it out HERE.

Come back tomorrow to see my answer to the next question: What do you think is the ideal age to be?

Blog Journal: Day 11

Another late one.

This one is about where I live. Pictures have been requested, but I'm not sure I have any of my home – or home area – on my computer. So, I'll also look online, see if I can come up with any.

I live in an area of the U.S. called the Quad-Cities. It's an area that encompasses cities/towns in both Illinois and Iowa. It's actually a gorgeous area – lots of hills, the river and bluffs, trees, etc. Unfortunately, I can't find any pics of our actual house, but here are some pics/images of/about our area.

This first image is a map of where exactly our community is located. I'm not sure why so many counties are red, as only the two touch on either side of the Mississippi River are part of the "official" Quad-Cities.

This one is an aerial shot of the area. The river toward the top is the Mississippi River. The other river is called the Rock River. We are looking north. Yes, that is accurate. North. In this particular area, the Mississippi River bends in such a way that it runs east-west, and Iowa is north of Illinois. The island in the Mississippi River is called Arsenal Island. There's an Army base there, and it's where Mr. Ham works (for the Army Corps of Engineers).

This is Lock and Dam 15. On the right is the Rock Island Arsenal (island), and the bridge is crossing the Mississippi into Iowa.

Centennial Bridge, looking toward Davenport, Iowa.

This is the area in which I live. My husband and I both actually are from the Chicago suburbs, but his job brought us here. It's good – cheaper to live here. Plus, it's beautiful here and MUCH less congested, population wise.

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Head on over to Toddler Awesome if you wanna play along and/or read others' blog journals. The next question is: If you could change something about how you have lived your life so far, what would it be?

Blog Journal: Day 10

Today's question: What are you afraid of?

My answer: More things than I should be. As a born-again Christian, I should have no fear. I should be able to fully 100% trust in God for EVERYTHING. And, believe me, I'm trying! But, there are still things that get to me. I actually recently posted about my fears. So, rather than rewriting it, here's a link:
Top Five Fears

I would add a few things to the list: rejection, abandonment, failure. To name a few.

Fear is something I've always really, really struggled with. In fact, I used to love scary (and not just horror flicks, but supernatural thrillers, too) movies, but decided a few years ago that it was not something I should do. I struggle enough with fear, why invite it in like that? Since then, I've been a LOT better. It's still a struggle, though.

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Head on over to Toddler Awesome if you wanna play along and/or read others' blog journals. Tomorrow will be all about where we live.

Blog Journal: Day 9

I wasn't able to post this yesterday, but I'm having too much fun with this Blog Journal event to let that stop me! ;-) Yesterday was about weddings. It's a chance to share photos/stories from our weddings. I definitely have a story. Not sure about pictures ...

This is me before the wedding:

My mom and me before the wedding:

Mr. Ham and me right after the wedding:

And me at the reception:

Unfortunately, that's all I have on photobucket. The rest is still in the album – this was done before photogs were using digital! ;-) I don't have time to scan others in.

The main story of our wedding was the weather. We were married on January 2, 1999. We lived in the Chicago area, and anyone from anywhere within a couple of hundred miles of there likely knows what that day was.

Background: December of 1998 was unusually nice. I remember relatively warm temps as recently as a week before my wedding. I remember going to bed the night before and there not being much snow. I must've heard of the impending storm, because I know the FIRST thing I did when I woke up. I looked outside. We had been SLAMMED with snow overnight. There was TONS of it. It's what we Chicagoans call the Blizzard of '99. It was absolutely NUTS. My sisters and I got stuck in the snow about a block from our house on our way to get our hair done. One of my sisters ran back to the house, and I remember my dad, my uncle, and my brother-in-law running our way with shovels! LOL They dug us out, and we decided only to take major roads. Fortunately, the salon was in a major shopping center in Wheaton. My hairdresser said she had her husband on standby with his four-wheel-drive truck to get us there if needed! LOL

The snow, the storm, the weather. Many, many – nah, most – of our guests weren't able to come. Including important family members. It was sad not to have them there, but we totally understood. Amazingly, all of the people who had a part in our wedding were there. Every last one of them. One of my bridesmaids had to dig out the entire alley on her block to get her car out, but she did it! LOL At the end of the festivities, our photographer told me that we must be really special because we had a GREAT showing for the way the weather played out! That meant a lot to us to hear.

That storm ushered in a NASTY cold snap, and the temperatures were the coldest I remember in a long time. There was so much snow, ice, etc. that even O'Hare Airport was closed for a couple of days. (That is almost unheard of!)

The funny thing is people we'd meet at friends' and family functions all knew about our wedding. We'd meet someone, and our wedding would come up, and they'd say "Oh, that wedding!" LOL We were famous – sorta! ;-) We still hear that sometimes, but nowadays it's usually, "You were married during that storm?" It's definitely a day most Chicagoans will remember.

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Head on over to Toddler Awesome if you wanna play along and/or read others' blog journals. Next up: What are you afraid of?

Blog Journal: Day 8

Today's question: What does romance mean to me?

My answer: I honestly don't know. I haven't given it much thought, really. So, let's see what Webster says ...

1 : to try to influence or curry favor with especially by lavishing personal attention, gifts, or flattery
2 : to carry on a love affair with

There are lots of others totally unrelated to anything I associate with romance, so this is it, I guess.

The first one, well, I think that's the courting/engagement phase. It all but disappears once a couple settles into marriage. At least, that's how the story goes. And, honestly, that's how things have played out. He does occasional grand gestures, but generally they're a thing of the past. Now, honestly, I'd like a bit of the gifts – that's my love language ...

Anyway, the second is definitely true. It can encompass the first, but it's not dependent on the first. It's the things we do every day that show each other that we love each other. It's him making me chai on the weekends, trying to replicate how they make the chai tea lattes at Starbucks or Panera. It's me making sure there's a cold beer waiting in the fridge for him at the end of the day. It's him cleaning up after me when I was SUPER sick, never griping, never giving me crap about it, and to this day being graceful about it. It's me putting a towel in the dryer for a few minutes so he's got a warm towel when he steps out of the shower on a cold day. It's him leaving extra cash for me to find when he goes out of town for work. It's me leaving a lamp on in our bedroom when I go to bed so he doesn't have to come to bed in the dark.

It's all of those things, and so much more. I am very blessed that God gave Mr. Ham to me. I couldn't imagine my life without him.

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Head on over to Toddler Awesome if you wanna play along and/or read others' blog journals. Tomorrow we share our wedding pictures and/or stories (or your dream wedding if you're single).

Blog Journal: Day 7

So ... no. Sorry. No graphic again today. I'm just not into it. When you see what I see, I think you'll understand ...

Today's task is to write about what's going on with each of your senses (taste, touch, smell, sight, hearing).

The Eyes Have It

I see clutter. The books I need to find homes for, the ever-growing pile of laundry (both to-be-washed and to-be-sorted-and-put-away), the never-ending dishes to clean, the toys scattered all over the place ... and it's much worse than usual, because my wonderful hubby is gone for the week! :-(

Do You Hear What I Hear?

I hear the kids playing outside – well, the older two. I also hear the birds chirping and some people mowing their lawns. Occasionally, the dog barks. Inside, I hear silence (outside noises coming in through open windows – YES!), because Miss Natalie is still napping.

Oh, Taste and See

I taste Dr Pepper. Love that stuff ...

What's that Smell?

I smell ... spring. Finally! (We've had a it of a "cold" trend lately.)

How Touching

I feel slightly chilled with the windows open, letting in the below 70º F air. But, I'm LOVING it!

If you wanna link up, do so HERE. Tomorrow's topic is to discuss what "romance" means to you.

Blog Journal: Day 6

No snazzy graphics again today. Sorry. It's past my bed time, and I'm waiting for the dryer to finish my comforter/flat sheet (damn cat!). There's no time for graphics. And, really, (sorry, Emma) this isn't a very inspiring topic for me.

What is it?

Food. My favorite food/recipe/restaurant.

Favorite Food

Alaskan king crab legs. YUMMY! I rarely get them because they're so damn expensive ...

Something I can get regularly ... honestly cheddar cheese. I could eat just that and be happy. I once told someone that, and they looked at me like I said haggis is my favorite food! So, I rarely say cheese (especially cheddar), for fear of looking/sounding stupid! Lame, aren't I?

Favorite Recipe

I'm not much of a cook. I like to bake, though. I have the BEST sugar cookie (and buttercream icing) recipe I kindly was given by a former co-worker. But, alas, it's nowhere nearby. And, again, I'm tired. So, I'm not gonna get it. Anyway, it's my favorite because I searched for YEARS for the perfect cut-out sugar cookies recipe and FINALLY have it!

Favorite Restaurant

Honestly, I don't really have one. It just depends on my mood or current cravings. Although, if dessert is in the plans, then Chili's ...

Tune in tomorrow for a real-time post on the five senses. :-)

Blog Journal: Day 5

Oh, MAN! Oh, man! Oh, MAN! This was a HARD one for me. If you've been following me for more than a few days, you likely will understand why when you see what it is. (Just in case, I'll explain after I show you my graphic.) As always, click on the graphic to see it bigger.

You see? ONLY ten songs? ONLY? REALLY? I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE music! It's my passion. If I could go back in time, I'd major in something that would give me a way to work in the music industry. Music engineering, perhaps – being a producer would ROCK!

Anyway, more about the songs I've chosen, AND I'll embed them so you can listen while you read! :-) Actually, I found a widget on Grooveshark that allows me to create a playlist, so, I'll embed the widget then explain the songs.

1. Rebirthing by Skillet ~ Anyone who knows me won't be the least bit surprised I picked this song. In fact, the instant I saw this journal topic, this song came to mind. Skillet is my FAVORITE band. Absolute FAVORITE. (A long cry from Amy Grant, my favorite musician for most of my childhood, huh? LOL) And this song is probably (I say probably because they have so many songs I love) my favorite of theirs. As a special treat, I'm going to share the acoustic version this time. Enjoy!

2. Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve ~ LOVE this song. Love it. Again, enjoy!

3. Ocean Floor by Audio Adrenaline ~ Probably my favorite of theirs.

4. Sea of Faces by Kutless ~ An amazing song. They are another of my favorite bands, Kutless is just awesome, too.

5. Word of God Speak by MercyMe ~ Yet another favorite band. Hmm... see? I love music! LOL I actually first heard this song on Kutless' Strong Tower CD. I didn't realize it was a MercyMe song until I got their 10 album. Powerful song.

6. Burden in My Hand by Soundgarden ~ I am a closet Soundgarden fan! LOL I love their stuff. Love it. This is one of my favorites of theirs.

7. Hold My Heart by Tenth Avenue North ~ I loved this song before they put it on the radio! ;-) So good. So very good. Their new song is pretty darn good, too.

8. This is Your Life by Switchfoot ~ Unfortunately, there isn't a lot of Switchfoot on Grooveshark! :-( And, unfortunately, the only version of this song I could find was an instrumental redo by some orchestra. Now, I love orchestras, but words are important ... I uploaded my copy, but it takes awhile for them to process it. So, I'll try to share it maybe for a Tune-In Tuesday post! 

9. Beautiful Day by U2 ~ What's not to like about this song? 

10. Shackled by Vertical Horizon ~ Another song I love, love, LOVE! A different guy is singing, and I just love his voice – for some strange reason. It's more about the sound of the music in this one than what is being said. Anyway, hope you like it!

As you can tell, and if I haven't made it clear at this point, I LOVE music. I couldn't live without it. I recently started doing a weekly Tune-In Tuesday post, and would love to have others join me! :-) So, please do.

And now, I wanna see what music you wanna share! Head on over to Toddler Awesome if you wanna play along!