Thursday, October 14, 2010

The Ws (and H)

I know the who. Natalie. I know the what. Her third birthday. I know the where. Anywhere she is! ;-)What I'm not so sure about is the why – or the how. OK, yeah, I get the why, biologically speaking. But still, who said she could "grow up" so damn quickly? I know, God (which is what Abby would tell me), but still. I don't like it one bit! Why is the baby phase over before we know it? Why is it that we blink and it's gone? (The logical, not-so-sentimental side says that it's because if that phase was super long, we'd never have more than one child – or we'd die much younger than we do ... ;-) Clearly, it's not the logical side writing right now ...)And, HOW? HOW is it possible that she was born THREE YEARS ago? Talk about time flying by! I still remember much of my pregnancy with her quite vividly, as well as her birth and her as a newborn. Don't get me wrong, I am not a huge fan of the newborn phase. I love them small and snuggly, but I hate the helpless feeling when you just can't figure out what's bothering them ... Anyway, clearly, it's the cute, cuddly stuff I'm waxing poetic right now! ;-) I just cannot wrap my mind around the fact that my precious, sweet (SUPER surprise) baby girl is THREE YEARS OLD! Knock me over with a feather!

Yes, I said surprised. Nothing about my final pregnancy was planned. I was still nursing Grant when I found out I was pregnant again. He was 13 months old. From sometime during his first year I knew instinctively (mother's intuition – or divine advanced warning – you decide) that our next baby was going to be born in October. I did not realize it meant the October after his first birthday ... Still, the pregnancy was a complete surprise – especially to Mr. Ham. On a very, very deep level, I knew I was pregnant before it was possible to get a positive pregnancy test. So, when I did get one, I wasn't all that surprised. And I definitely wasn't shocked – but he was. I was excited by the time I broke the news to him, because I had had some time to absorb the idea. I don't know when he got excited, but let's just say that it's all good now. We both love her to pieces. She is the absolute best surprise ever. God has been so good to us.

Still, it's hard to believe that was three years ago – or three years and nine months, if we're counting the pregnancy. Man, these kids grow up fast! (I don't currently have good Natalie pics on my computer, but I'll try to get one up soon.)

Well, it is late and I am EXHAUSTED! I was hoping to write more, but this will have to be it.

Thursday, October 7, 2010


I have noticed that there are times I tend to isolate myself from my friends. Not my family, because that's pretty much impossible. (It's hard to isolate yourself from people with whom you share a house!) But, my friends – especially my closest friends – are another story. I'm not entirely sure why I do this. I've thought about it, but I just don't know. In some ways, I would guess it's so I can be selfish – or maybe because I'm being selfish. If I'm isolating myself from them, then I can wallow in my own misery without feeling guilty. Until I realize I've basically cut off everyone who cares about me. It's not like I do it on purpose. I never realize I'm doing it until I suddenly realize that I haven't spoken to certain people in what feels like forever. Then I realize I'm doing it again. Yes. Again.

I wish I knew and understood why I do this. This is one of those many things that makes me think I should be in therapy. And, no, I don't think being in therapy is a bad – or even embarrassing – thing. I really think it can be very helpful and very good for someone who needs it. And I believe I'm one of those people. But, I haven't the slightest idea how to go about finding a good therapist. I have trust issues, so I can't just find a random person and talk to him/her about whatever's bothering me. I know they are bound by law to keep my secrets or refrain from sharing information I'd rather be kept private, but that doesn't help me in the trust department. Trust is a HUGE issue for me. Huge. (Just ask any of my close friends or Mr. Ham about it.) That's one of the things that makes my faith so unbelievable for me. I can trust God in just about anything. I know He'll pull through for me. I know He'll take care of me. But, He has proven himself again and again in my life. I KNOW – without the tiniest bit of doubt – that He is trustworthy.

After almost 12 years of marriage and more than 17 years together, my husband has proven himself trustworthy, too. It's taken me a LONG time to get to where I can honestly say I trust him completely, but I'm finally there. Satan keeps trying to make me doubt that, but so far I've been able to disallow his seeds of doubt to grow. He keeps inserting thoughts along the lines of "Things are too perfect. Something's gotta go wrong soon. This is the calm before the storm. Can you really trust him implicitly? How many women think they know their husbands, think they can trust them, only to find out he's been hiding something big?" I am trying desperately to keep these seeds from being planted. I'm trying hard to deflect every one of these. Mr. Ham has never given me a real reason to doubt him, and I refuse to do so. But, Satan keeps trying. He knows where I struggle, and he's trying to exploit that. I won't let him.

Anyway, I appear to be in a funk again, although I think my cycles affect that greater than I'd like them to. And, yes, this funk includes being reclusive. *sigh* For me, there's not much getting around that. It appears to be the way I'm wired.

I am at a loss as to the best way to end this, so I guess it's over now! ;-) Thanks for reading!

Sunday, October 3, 2010


I love this heart-shaped box.
So cool!
The 411: I was recently contacted to review earrings from I thought, sure, why not? Who doesn't love diamond earrings, right? Now, to make sure it's clear: these are not real diamonds, but simulated diamonds. This is part of a promotion for, to help spread the word about this site. The eventual plan is to sell real diamond jewelry.

My Thoughts: First, I was quite impressed by how quickly these earrings arrived. I expected to wait weeks, but that was not the case. We're talking days! And this was free – no money out of my pocket! I'm guessing paying customers will be able to expect the same, if not faster, shipping! When I opened the package, I was delighted. The box the earrings is a black velvet box that is heart-shaped! LOVE the heart shape!

Sorry the quality of the picture
isn't very good. The earrings
are gorgeous and fun to wear!
The earrings themselves are beautiful! They look as real as my real diamond earrings, and that is pretty cool. I'm always nervous about wearing my real diamonds to things like the pool or something that could result in my losing one. These are great to use as my replacement pair. My husband and my friends were unable to tell that they are simulated diamonds.

Get Them: For a limited time, you, too, can get your hands on a free pair! All you have to pay is $3.77 for shipping and handling! Simulated diamond earrings for less than $4! All they ask is that you spread the word about their site in exchange for the earrings. For more information or to place your order, visit their site,

Thank You: These earrings were sent to me free of charge by Chris at
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