Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Oh FFS

I'm feeling a pull to Facebook. As if I need one more thing to be unable to keep up with online! GAAAAAH! But, I have so many friends who are there and NOT MySpace. Or are on both but never go to MySpace anymore b/c they have Facebook. Sigh.

I know, this is a petty vent, but hey. What are you gonna do?

One more vent. I can't believe I haven't mentioned this here before - I'm sure the lack of power last week is to blame! ;-) Anyway, we have recently had an issue on FROGs, and I'm shaken to the core by it! I can't believe how much it's affecting me. If I think on it too much, I get sick to my stomach, my throat feels tight, and I can feel my heart racing. So not good.

What happened? How did I know you'd ask? Here goes.

We have a member who recently returned to the board after being away for a while. After her return, she sent me a private message to explain her absence. At risk of pissing her off and chasing her away from FROGs for good, here's her message:

Hey Heather. I didn't want to post this on the board and make a issue of it, but I want you to know the main reason I haven't been around and the same reason I am kinda worried about coming back. One of my last posts was about how I felt like I was having a hard time connecting here and that I felt lost sometimes. Well...I recieived a email from someone and I was hurt to say the least. Basically they said that it was God's way of letting me know that FROGS wasn't to be my home and that maybe I would feel more comfortable somewhere else.At first I was just kinbda stunned and was trying to figure out what exactly that meant. But as time went on, I just got mad and decided to stay away for awhile.

I am not telling you this for any other reason than just to let you know why I disappeared. On a different note, it looks like there have been a lot of changes here in the past few months...it looks nice and you are doing a wonderful job!

I read this and INSTANTLY was angry beyond belief and grieved more than I'd have thought possible. How DARE someone on FROGs do that to a sister in Christ? HOW DARE SHE? Despite our best efforts, we could not get the individual who contacted me to reveal the offender. That ticks me off to no end. I understand that she wants it over and done with. She wants to move on. I get that. I also get that she has extended forgiveness and wants to walk in forgiveness. OK. But, why tell us if you don't want something made out of it? Seriously. This is a HUGE deal. So far as I'm concerned - so far, at least - it's the WORST offence to have occurred on FROGs!

And, in addition to being angry and disappointed that it happened, I feel betrayed - by both the offender and the sister who shared this with me. I don't think I should feel that way, but I do. I'm also afraid we'll never find out exactly what happened, and that worries me. I want to know who so I can talk with her and make sure she understands that it is NEVER to happen again. It's not about punishment or revenge or anything like that - it's trying to make sure EVERYONE on FROGs is safe! My biggest fear is that this individual will do this again.

I have so many thoughts and feelings on this, but I'm spent. I can't think clearly or find a way to write it out. So, I'm going to end this post for now. I just had to get some things off my chest.
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