Wednesday, February 4, 2009

My heart is breaking

As many of you know, I own and run a Web site. It has been a labor of love for me - my e-baby, if you will! But, I think the time has come for me to move on. It kills me to say that. It kills me to walk away, but I fear I must. I don't want to go into too much detail - because the last thing I want to do is slander anyone - but I need to get this out.

I have mentioned in the past how there is someone on the site who has made my life hell. She ruined the get-together we had in September, and she has done her damnedest to shut me out of my friendships. On the board, she has been rude, condescending, and anything-but-supportive for me. She has been a part of that site for a couple of years now, and I cannot tell you the last time I shared my inner most thoughts and/or feelings with my friends because she is there. I feel like I'm always being ridiculed and judged and belittled by her. I don't love being on my site anymore. I go there out of a sense of duty, nothing more. I hardly share much of anything. I can't bring myself to face her lippy bullshit anymore. I can't. I'm done.

What hurts the most is somehow I'm being made out to be the villain here. I never did anything wrong! I let her into my site - my inner circle of friends. I tried to embrace her as a sister in Christ. I got paid back by repeatedly getting belittled and ridiculed. I got paid back by getting pushed out of my own site. I am sick over this. So sad and so upset.

DH is watching Leno, so I'm now losing my train of thought. So, that's it for now. Maybe tomorrow I'll have better thoughts.
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