Never Saw It Coming

It's amazing how having babies changes your life - or at least how it changed my life. I'm not talking about the stuff like years of being sleep-deprived, suddenly loving driving a mini-van, having leftover baby fat, or other typical - and somewhat expected - changes. I'm talking other things. Things I never in a million years saw coming.

Seven years ago (I say seven because six years ago I was pregnant with Abby and the changes were under way), I was so different it's amazing. Well, not just me - my life. My husband and I had some close friends with whom we'd stay up into the wee hours of the morning playing games and just hanging out. (We still have those friends, but they moved to another state and we don't see or hear from them much.) Oh, yeah, and I worked second shift as a copy editor - a job I generally hated. I hated reading all those boring news stories, then having to write headlines. I think I've mentioned before that I'm not very good at that - and knowing that made it all the worse, especially when TPTB like puns. I hate punny headlines - so overused - and I could never write them. Well, not never, per say, just VERY rarely!

Seven years ago we had a nice house (we still live in it) with new carpeting and a dinky garage we were hoping to replace in the near future. That garage was so small that one of my sisters thought it was a shed the first time she saw it! LOL Pathetic - and, really, that's all it was worth. We could barely fit a Dodge NEON in it, let alone anything else! In that house, we had one cat and were planning to get another one - we ended up with two more. The first cat, Shadow, was our "first baby" - as I'd referred to her many times. She was a sweet cat, and was my pet before DH and I were married. So, naturally, she was part of the package - marry me, marry my cat. And I was one of those people who doted on her cat. I bought her birthday and Christmas presents (and presents from her for DH) and loved her to pieces. All that despite the fact that she was literbox-challenged to the worst degree. She would NOT pee in a litterbox to save her life. She had had a couple of UTIs, but even healthy she flat out REFUSED to pee in the litterbox. Thankfully, she did at least poop in there, but the pee's almost worse. The smell - and the fact that it's next to impossible to get out! Let's just say I wish we'd gotten rid of her long before we did. It was heartbreaking to do so - she's such a people kitty and really was my furbaby. We gave her to my ILs, who were planning to keep her outside. She's disappeared. :-( I feel guilty - a tiny bit - but less so than I did a couple of years ago. Anyway, what compelled me to get rid of her was - you guessed it - the kids. I was pregnant with Grant when finally I'd had it. I was ready to let her go. By that point, we already had Zeus and Huckleberry - angels compared to Shadow. Well, unless Huckleberry's antics were bothersome - he'd attack the toilet paper, shredding an entire brand-new role when we weren't looking. He'd done plenty of other things, but that's the one that most sticks out in my mind. I think what Dh and I referred to as "the voices" would tell him to do it. Either that or the toilet paper was taunting him! We'll never know, but - thankfully - he has out grown that. My point is I was one of those people who doted on her pets. Loved them and even referred to them as her babies. Until I had babies. Poor cats were forced to take a back seat when Abby was born. I still tried to give them attention and whatnot, but they definitely became second-class citizens. That's something I'd NEVER thought would happen.

Between Grant and Natalie we got a puppy. I don't know WHAT possessed me, as it was my idea. And, yes, I'm still kicking myself for that one! Grant was 6 months old when Sawyer was born - on Abby's third birthday. He was about 8 months when we brought Sawyer home. The cute thing is they are like buddies. They're growing up together, sorta. It's neat to see their bond. Anyway, Sawyer is a PITA. Now, I grew up with cats. So, perhaps part of the problem is this dog is much needier than any cat I'd ever had. I'm sure I'd have enjoyed him more if we'd gotten him before kids. Now, he's just extra work - an extra kid, if you will. But not an extra kid - they trump him. ALWAYS. I found myself thinking of him today as just a dog, and all of the pets in this house as "just animals." GASP! That's what prompted this post. It made me realize just how much kids change things you never see coming!

I had more on my mind, but it's gone. Maybe having to write between feeding the kids, letting the dog out, and other things is to blame! LOL Yeah, that's it! ;-)

Woe is Me

Like almost every other American, one of my goals for this year is to lose weight. No, you don't get to find out how much I weigh! LOL No one needs to know! ;-) But, I have had three babies in the past six years - and you can tell! It sucks. I gotta do it a little at a time - I'm getting close to my first goal, but not close enough! After my first goal, I have to lose about 10 more pounds to get to my pre-Natalie weight. That will be cause for much celebration indeed! Then, there are another 10-15 lbs to get to my pre-Grant weight. That will be cause for even GREATER celebration. Beyond that, there are another 20-25 lbs to get to my pre-Abby weight. THAT will be the celebration of a lifetime - well, at least since the birth of my babies! ;-) Beyond that another 15-20 lbs would be nice, but I'll be THRILLED just to get to my pre-Abby weight. Can I do it? I sure hope so - but I'm skeptical. See, as much as I hate to admit it (out of shame), I'm lazy. If something's work, I don't wanna do it. BUT, if that work can be made fun, I'm all for it! For instance, I HATE exercising - it's a chore and takes a long time to get noticable results. BUT, I love dancing - I was on the poms squad in junior high and in high school and LOVED it. Lost weight when I joined both (there were 3 years between the two - for various reasons I'll spare you for now), and looked great. If there was a way to do that kind of thing again now that I'm 32, I'd be there - and I'd likely lose the weight! But, well, anything even remotely close to that - Zumbo, I think is what it's called, for instance - is pricey. I don't have money for that right now. Plus, if I were to take it and get results and want to keep going, it'd be a recurring expense - no room in the budget for that right now. What I really wanna do is get a Wii Fit and use that. I know it's not anything like Zumbo, but I know I could enjoy that. But, of course, I can't get a Wii Fit to save my life - and I'm sure as hell not paying upwards of $100 for something that regularly is priced around $80. No way, no how. But, let me tell you, it's all I can do to keep from just saying screw it and ponying up the money! I am sure part of the problem is the aforementioned other Americans with the same goal - and likely a similar plan. I just wonder when the Wii Fit craze will die down so I can walk into Wal-Mart, Best Buy, or Target and buy one then and there. I feel like the king dude (I can't remember what they are - lemurs?) in Madagascar - "HOW LONG IS THIS GOING TO TAKE!" So, for now, I'm using Wii Sports. That tennis gets me moving pretty well. It's better than nothing, right?

Another endangered show

This is another one of my FAVORITE shows. Apparently I'm great at picking unpopular shows! :-( I personally think the writers' strike last year killed it, as it started last year with pretty good success. This year, it fizzled. There was too much time between the first and second seasons. It's a shame. This show is funny, dramatic, tongue-in-cheek, and just a ton of fun! So, again, with it being endangered, I never know when it's on next. So, I'll be watching my widget for this one, too! ;-)

One of my favorite shows

This is one of those shows that's soon-to-be no more, much to my dismay! :-( As such, I never know when another one's scheduled. So, I'm posting this to help me remember! ;-) I don't know if there's a chance that ABC will change their minds, but maybe if more people watch the last few episodes ...

Year in Review

A follow-up to my New Year's post, if you will. My friend Lisa posted this on her blog and I had to follow suit! You go back through your blog and copy the opening sentence from a post (or two) for each month. I began this blog in March, so I will start there - obviously! LOL

Below is the opening sentence from a post from each month. (Any italicized text is a comment I'm writing NOW.) To read the whole post, click on the date/month name:

March: I had a bunch of stuff that I wanted to write. (Is that the story of my blog or what? LMAO)

April: I saw my allergist yesterday, and he said it doesn't sound like an allergy to food!

May: I've never been good at titles - or writing headlines, for that matter.

June: That sums it up perfectly!
June 25: My precious baby girl was born.

July: Around 9:30 p.m. our power was restored!

August: A few months ago, once my daughter got into the wonderful world of Webkinz, I bought her a couple I knew she'd LOVE off eBay.

September: I was just starting up a Baby Einstein DVD for Grant.

October: At this point exactly 12 months ago I was getting to know my sweet new baby girl, Natalie.

November: There is so much going on in my mind right now.

December: DH got home yesterday!

In looking this over, I have to say a couple of things. One, I need to blog more. And two, I need to be more creative in my first lines of my posts! It was hard finding something interesting. No more first sentences being one-word sentences! LOL So far as blogging goes, for 2009 I resolve to write more and better! Wish me luck!

Book Review: The Crown Conspiracy

The Crown Conspiracy by Michael J. Sullivan

My review

rating: 5 of 5 stars
Wow! I thoroughly enjoyed this book! I must admit that when I obtained it I was slightly skeptical. But, I was given a great deal - and even got a signed copy! :-) So, I set about reading it. And I could NOT put it down! I read this book in a few days - and probably would have read it faster if I wasn't sick this past week. That said, I'm going to be somewhat vague in my review, as I hate spoilers and prefer to avoid writing anything that might ruin the book for others! ;-)



Anyway, this book was so much better than I'd expected. I loved Hadrian and Royce - despite the fact that they were master thieves! Most of the characters were well-developed and quite interesting. The plot moved quickly and had very interested twists and turns. The descriptions were detailed and really helped me "see" everything as I read.



One thing - the description of the sword fights lost me. I know nothing about fencing or whatever, and some of the terminology was over my head. But, the plot was awesome and I couldn't put the book down.



I do wonder if Mr. Sullivan is planning to make this into a series. There were things that happened that made me wonder if more was coming that would expand on some of the events in this book. I certainly hope so! If there is another book (or more) to follow this one, I won't waste any time obtaining it. I might even pre-order it! Either way, I will be looking for more books from Michael J. Sullivan!


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Happy New Year!

I cannot believe that 2008 is now a mere memory and 2009 is upon us! Wow, that happened fast! A year ago I had a 2-month-old baby and was just beginning my stint as a stay-at-home mom. Abby was in her last year of preschool before starting Kindergarten in August. Grant has grown from a 2-year-old toddler to a talking, running, reasoning 3-year old. Natalie, well, she's gone from newborn to full-fledged toddler - they go through so many changes that first year or so that it's impossible to catalog it all! Me? I dunno - I've continued to slowly lose the baby weight. Slowly. I weaned Natalie about a month ago, so hopefully more weight will come of quickly! DH - well, he's working. He spent 30 days in Austin, TX, for work - working with FEMA in the aftermath of Hurricane Ike. It was all about the money - that's a lot of OT and extra cash. And we desperately needed it. In fact, I suspect he'll be doing it somewhat regularly (not necessarily Austin - wherever there's need) to help make it possible for me to continue to SAH. Oh, and he had his vasectomy - no more surprise babies for us! ;-)

So, what are my hopes for this year? That's a very good question.

• Lose weight - at the very least get to my pre-Natalie weight. That's a start. I eventually want to get to my pre-Abby weight, but that's 60 lbs away, so I'm not kidding myself that it'll happen this year!
• Get off the Zoloft - I've been on it for three years in February. I didn't get to wean off after weaning Grant like I'd wanted b/c I got knocked up. Now that there's no chance of that, I wanna get off it. Natalie's weaned, so the only thing working against me is possible PMS issues. But, I don't wanna be on the Zoloft forever!
• Be a better housekeeper
• Stop spending and help us get out of debt. Don't know how yet, but stopping spending is a first BIG step! ;-)
• Get back in the habit of attending church regularly.

I'm sure there are more things I'd like to change, but really having too many goals can set one up for failure. I already might be setting the bar too high. Time will only tell. That said, HAPPY 2009! I wish you all many blessings and much happiness this year!

Stopping in to say

May you all have an absolutely wonderful, blessed day!

Book Review: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find Them by J.K. Rowling

My review

rating: 4 of 5 stars
I enjoyed this book. It's a nice addition to the Harry Potter series. I found the descriptions of the magical creatures to be quite imaginative and fun. While I wouldn't call it spectacular, I would say it's a must-read for every Harry Potter fan.


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Book Review: The Shack

The Shack by William P. Young

My review

rating: 5 of 5 stars
This was a very good book. I found it to be a fast read, because the further I got into it, the more I wanted to keep reading. It's a sad tale about a man whose 6-year-old daughter was murdered by a serial killer. He meets with God to come to terms with both that and his troubled childhood. (I'm going to refrain from saying much more, because I don't want to reveal the plot.) In some ways, it's a story of redemption. I didn't find this book to be life-changing, as I've heard others label it, but it did make me think about my own faith. All in all, I would highly recommend this book.


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We made it!

DH got home yesterday! :-) His flight ended up delayed by about a total of an hour - not too bad, especially not when flying out of ORD (more commonly known as O'Hare). The kids and I picked him up at the airport. We got there as his plane was landing, and could see it taxiing to the gate. By the time we got settled in the waiting area just outside the security checkpoint, DH was coming down the hallway. I saw him and asked Abby who that was. She took off running "Daddy" - and Grant followed suit. Natalie had to be brought over to him - she was too distracted by the new surroundings to notice people! LOL When she first saw him, she hesitated a little. But once he spoke to her, she came running! It was so sweet! She clearly missed him much more than I'd realized. She was big-time clingy with him last night, and still some today. She's more animated and just doing better overall. It's amazing the difference. She hadn't acted all that different during his absence, so I really thought she was somewhat indifferent.

Me? I must've been running on adrenaline while he was gone - once he was home, I just got DEAD tired! I couldn't believe it! LOL I had to take a nap this afternoon, too. I have been just so very tired. Must be the adrenaline crash! He's super tired, too - falling asleep on the couch since about 7:30! LOL But, he worked almost constantly, so it's not unexpected.

Well, in my super-tired state, I'm feeling not too eloquent right now. So, I'm gonna jet - maybe go to bed early. Night, night (to quote Natalie)!

The Home Stretch!

That's right. We're about to enter the FINAL week of DH's deployment! :-D A week from this very moment, he will be HOME. I cannot wait! I pray this last week flies by, as I am so ready for him to be home. He said today he's finally getting tired of living out of a suitcase and not being home. Saturday, December 6, cannot come fast enough! I had to get groceries today, and I picked up some things that he typically uses and I don't so that we have them when he comes. (I'm hoping that was my last trip while he's away. I also hope I have enough diapers for this week - I'm pretty sure I do.) He gets home about 2:30-ish in the afternoon, so the kids and I will pick him up at the airport. I'm so excited about that. I remember when he went on his first deployment - a little over three years ago. Abby and I picked him up, and were walking from the baggage claim area to the waiting area. He turned round the corner into the hallway, and Abby was so excited! She screamed "Daddy" and took off running to him. It was so sweet (and a little funny, as she had been eating some fruit snacks and left a little trail behind her LOL)! It's definitely a memory I'll cherish. I can't remember if we picked him up last time - I think we did, but clearly it wasn't quite as sweet! LOL I'm hoping this time he'll have all three of 'em running to him. We've talked using Gmail's video chat, and they just LOVE getting to see him while talking! Even Natalie - who shies away from the phone - loved it. She was blowing him kisses - very sweet. Anyway, we're entering the home stretch of being without DH. C'mon, Saturday - GET HERE ALREADY! ;-)

It's All Downhill from Here ...

... or so they say. The halfway point of DH's time away has been reached and passed. Two weeks from now he will be HOME. :-) December 6 cannot come fast enough! I will say that overall this has gone better than I'd expected. The kiddos are generally doing great, and I'm holding up better than before - maybe that's because I'm not pregnant this time! LOL I just miss HIM. His companionship. His hug. His voice - which sounds different IRL than over the phone! ;-) His smell. His smile. Two weeks - I can do this. Really. I can. Plus, my mom's coming out in a few days to be here for a few days - including Thanksgiving. So, that'll help. I'll finally have some much-needed adult company! And maybe, just MAYBE she'll let me get away - even if it's just to run to Panera and get a chai tea latte. Here's hoping! ;-) Anyway, we are over the hump. We're closer to the end than to the beginning. It feels SO GOOD! Oh, Lord, please help these two weeks fly by - and me to make it through with my sanity in tact - or at least what's left of my sanity! ;-)

Thanksgiving will be weird this year. DH and I haven't ever been apart for Thanksgiving in I don't know how long. This is our ninth Thanksgiving since we were married, and I know we'd spent a couple together prior to our marriage, too. So, it's been 10+ years since we last were apart for a major holiday! I really don't think it'll feel like Thanksgiving. Not even with a meal. But, we'll do our best.

What I haven't decided is whether to get the Christmas stuff down Friday like we normally would do or wait until he's home. Maybe it'll depend on how my back feels - and how heavy everything is! Perhaps I should ask him about it - that might be a good idea. Yes, I will tomorrow - assuming I remember.

Well, I think I'm gonna head to bed early. Grant was up around 5:30 this morning, and wouldn't go back to sleep. So, I am exhausted. Night, night!

Happy Hump Day!

Yes, I know, it's not Wednesday. But, it's still hump day - and, no, I'm not being dirty! LOL Today is the midway point of DH's absence. We've reached the hump - it's all downhill from here! :-) In some ways, it's energizing. In others, it's EXHAUSTING. But, I'm excited. Two weeks from TOMORROW, he comes HOME! :-) I'm so excited. It's odd, but I think I've missed him even more this time - which I so didn't expect. The other times I was pregnant, and I thought my hormones made it worse. But, perhaps this time it's b/c I don't work. It's me and the kids, day in and day out. Always. No breaks for me, unless right now counts, but even then I have to be ready in case I'm needed. I miss his companionship more than I have in the past. I'm sure our new situation accounts for that. But, I'm not complaining - especially with Thanksgiving being a few days away. My mom is coming out - and probably bringing my niece and nephew - so that'll keep us busy. Hopefully the time will FLY! Abby only has 2 and a half days of school. Part of me wishes she was off all week, but I know it's better NOT that way - we clash way too much! LOL

On a completely unrelated note, I decided I wanted a more seasonal template. So, I found a Christmas/winter one. It was so hard to choose! I again went with Simply Fabulous Blogger Templates - I just LOVE her stuff! She recently released her seasonal templates, so I decided to switch. She does an absolutely lovely job!

I have another post I want to write - about my faith. But, it'll have to wait until I'm not falling asleep at the keyboard! ;-) That said, I gotta get to sleep. I'll write more tomorrow.

Day 7: Blah!

I feel like writing, but don't know what to say. I hate when that happens! But, today's been awful for me. I think a large part of it is PMS. Add that to DH being gone and me getting very little adult interaction over the last week and you get what I've been today. My poor kids. I am seriously considering begging my mom and/or sister to come out this weekend!

On a brighter note, I got a very welcome tidbit of good news this morning. DH e-mailed me to tell me that he was off in his calculation of when he comes back - instead of December 7, he'll be home December 6! WOOHOO! Let me tell you - he totally made my day! I was so happy, and I just keep focusing on that. Most of the time.

I'm exhausted, but my hair's still wet from my shower an hour ago and I don't want to look too funny in the morning. *sigh* I'm currently doing a product study for some shampoo, and I'm LOVING this stuff - much more than I'd expected. It's really helping my curls do their thing! :-) EVEN WITHOUT CONDITIONER! That's the amazing part, at least in my eyes. I'll share more about the test somewhere down the road. I'm sworn to secrecy for any product tests and/or surveys in which I participate. I'm not sure when I can talk, but I'm sure once I see the product in question on the store shelf it's likely safe! ;-)

Well, I've run out of coherent thoughts, so I'll go for now. Maybe tomorrow I can post more when I'm actually feeling somewhat cognizant! LOL

For Crying Out Loud ~ Day 6

I woke this morning to find dog puke in two places in the kitchen. Nice. Good morning to me! At first I thought it was puke in one spot and shit in another, but cleaning up set me straight. It smelled like vomit. That's quite the interesting pile of doggy vomit, that's for sure. And it's enough to kill the breakfast appetite! That is for sure! Yuck. Now Scooba is running, and so far not getting the worse of the two puke spots. Of course! Scooba just might have to do double duty today.

Aside from that, the morning actually went pretty well. I got Abby to school on time for the first bell, which is a first for me I think! LOL Then I took the other two shopping for groceries. It went pretty well - Grant is definitely a morning person. There's no doubt about that. I've never had him so well-behaved in a store before! (Note to self: Always go as early in the morning as possible if Grant's coming!) There's the added bonus of not many people being there yet - that always helps expedite the trip. Plus, shelves were almost fully stocked throughout the store. Nice. Of course, I forgot to grab a frozen pizza, but oh, well. I remembered all of the milk I needed to get - and with three different kinds to get (skim for me, 2% for the kids, whole for the baby) that's quite a feat! ;-)

Well, Scooba needs some attention. So, I'm gonna get going. Plus, Abby gets off school in 30 minutes. Time to start changing diapers in preparation!

Day 5

Seriously? Only? We have 25 days still to go? Man, this time is creeping by slowly!

I had a ton I wanted to say about an hour or so ago, but - of course - could not get here to write until now. So, I've lost most of it. But, as I type, Grant is supposed to be lying down on the couch. He and Abby AGAIN were bouncing off the walls a little while ago. This is deja-vu, as Sunday night was like this. Why is it only school nights when they pull this shit? I love my kids ... I love my kids ... I love my kids.

OK. The boy is now in bed. Heads will roll, should they start screwing around again tonight!

Today wasn't nearly as bad as the weekend was. Thank God Abby had school yesterday! It'll be a lifesaver this time around, I am quite certain! Poor kid is having a bit of a hard time with her daddy gone, so I'm trying not to be too rough on her. But, I'm also not going to cut her too much slack. You know kids - you give 'em an inch ...

I have so much to do right now it's not funny. I don't like being the only person around to do stuff. But I think that's the lazy side of me. The other side of me thrives under these circumstances. It's fulfilling to get everything done that needs to be done. Even stupid things like taking out the trash. Of course, that could be in part b/c I finally get an opportunity to get rid of a bunch of crap DH had been letting pile up in the garage! But, that was yesterday. Today I have dishes - again. Thankfully, we have a dishwasher, so that means I need to empty, load, and start it up. Not too bad - not even when it's on a daily basis. But, I'll do it tomorrow. (LOL No, I'm not going to say that tomorrow, too!) Today has been nuts, and I need some downtime. I also need sleep. See why I'll do it tomorrow? ;-) I did get a small package to send to DH ready to go. After dropping Abby off at school, the other two and I will be heading to the grocery store. Milk - it's always about the milk! Either after that or before we pick up Abby (or maybe immediately after - it all depends on Grant and Natalie), we'll mail the package. He forgot something, and Abby wanted to send him a couple of things. He's also getting a bunch of candy! LOL

I gotta sit down and look at the checkbook. I've no idea where we're at right now, but my brain is mush. The good thing is with Abby gone, I can get more done during the day. Natalie sleeps all morning, and Grant's pretty easily occupied. So, I can get the dishes and maybe even checkbook taken care of after shopping. I just gotta get us ready to go before I go to bed - make my list, find any coupons I have, put my reusable bags where I won't forget them, etc.

I must say, though, that I did get a TON of stuff done today, not the least of it is finally getting the clean clothes put away - on time to start laundry again in a couple of days! LOL I also got the drawer under Natalie's crib back in place. A couple of months ago, Abby jumped on it while it was open. DH and I could NOT get it back in, so it had been placed under the crib, out of the way of walking feet. Today I decided it was enough. It'd be a PITA to have to deal with that next time I change Natalie's sheets. Plus, I was tired of not using the drawer! We paid for the damn thing. I had better get full use out of it! ;-) I'm not entirely sure how I got it in, but I did. I cleared plenty of room for me to work at getting it back in place. I said a quick prayer "Lord, please help me get this thing back in its place" - or something to that effect - and set to work. Once I finally got the rollers in place, I pushed until it resisted. Then I sat and pushed with my legs. That was cake - and I still can get it open. It sticks a little, but it's easily opened anyway. And, yes, I did remember to praise and thank God for that little bit of help. Proof once again that He does care about the little things, too! :-)

Well, it's getting late and I gotta prep for the morning. I also need to sleep.

No One's Dead ~ Yet

Man, I cannot wait for school tomorrow! Absolutely cannot wait! Abby had a half day Thursday, no school Friday, and DH left early Friday. It's been a long weekend, that's for sure! And they're driving me bonkers. It's been cold, so I've been dragging them around town getting Christmas shopping done to get them out of the house. Oh, my, gosh! I never want to do it that way again! I've never had them misbehave like this. Now, granted, shopping with me likely is EXTREMELY boring, but c'mon! I became one of THOSE moms - you know, the one with the out-of-control kids running through the aisles! I tried to give the kids away to passers-by, but no one wanted them. I wonder why ...

And now, I got interrupted writing this because Abby and Grant decided now would be a good time for playing - LOUDLY, I might add - in their room. Grant had already been asleep for about an hour, and Abby was apparently incapable of going to bed without him waking. Usually, he goes right back to sleep. Not tonight. So, I brought him back downstairs with me so Abby can fall asleep. She's got school tomorrow, otherwise I'd bring her back down until I'm confident Grant's asleep.

Have I mentioned how EXHAUSTED I am? I'm on Day 3 of DH being gone and have no idea how I'm gonna make it another 27 days! Well, I know how - by the grace of God. Without His help, this wouldn't work. On one hand, I'm grateful for school - gets one of the three out of my hands for a bit. (And, honestly, it's the one who tends to be the least cooperative.) On the other hand, I'm not happy about school - because it just adds to the stress. I gotta worry about getting her to bed early enough, getting her to school on time, getting back to the school on time to pick her up (which rarely allows for the other two to get decent naps), some days packing a lunch ... I figure by the time we get into a good routine DH will be home. That's typically how it goes.

Anyway, I gotta go. Dishes are calling my name. Yippee! Hopefully I can go to bed after that.

One day down ...

and 29 left to go. DH left this morning. Fortunately, his travel days are Day #1 and Day #30 of his deployment. I've spoken with him a few times today, and he made it to Austin no problem. So, all is well on that side. Tomorrow is when he starts working.

Today went pretty well, even with Abby having a day off school! :-) The morning was laid-back, with us doing not much of anything once DH left. we just hung out together and did whatever. After Grant's nap, we went to pickup my new battery for my laptop. (My previous battery had suddenly stopped charging - apparently Apple's got some sort of problem with the older batteries, b/c they sent me a new one free of charge!) It took me forever to find the damn place Apple shipped the battery to. Where I live, we have streets and avenues. The streets run north/south, and the avenues are east/west. I was thinking the Apple service shop was on 19th St. But, after driving around a bit, I figured there was no way that was possible. (Where I was driving was where the road ended by the river. It was pretty easy to tell I wasn't in the right place! LOL) Suddenly it hit me - 19th AVENUE, not street! DUH! Sure enough, they were right there - which also is closer to my house, of course! Blond moment? Perhaps - except that I'm not blond ... hmm.

After the Apple store, we (the kids and I) checked out Toys R Us. They were having a sale from 3 p.m. until 10 p.m. tonight, which also carries over into the morning tomorrow - but I don't know the hours. I have most of the kids' Christmas stuff bought AND most of Grant's b-day stuff! :-) Christmas shopping is almost done - I ordered Dh what he wanted (a new hard drive for his laptop) and purchased some stuff for my nieces and nephews last night. Now the other adults on our list are the only people left for whom we need to get something! :-)

The one downside to the new battery for the laptop is I have to calibrate it - which means I couldn't go to bed yet! :-( I forgot how long it takes and started it a couple of hours ago! DOH! LOL I should soon be able to continue the process - hopefully it'll complete most of it's stuff overnight.

I gotta get to bed. I'm too tired. So, I think I'll finish the calibration tomorrow morning. Wish me luck! ;-)

Deep Thoughts

There is so much going on in my mind right now. I don't know where to begin. Oy! I hate when this happens. I don't have writer's block - I just can't keep up with the thoughts running through this head of mine! It'll probably take me all day to write this. Between interruptions (I love my kids) and my own distraction, it's inevitable. Plus, I gotta pay the bills today. We also need to go to Sam's Club today. DH is going to be gone to Texas for 30 days for work, so I want to stock up on stuff like diapers, TP, etc. He doesn't know this yet, but I'm sure he'll understand when I talk to him about it. More on the Texas stuff later, as I don't feel like talking about that yet.

Or do I? OK. That's the easy topic, so here it goes. DH works for the Army Corps of Engineers, and has the opportunity to deploy for 30 days to help with hurricane recovery efforts in Texas. He's done this twice before - after Hurricane Katrina in LA. The good thing is it's a TON of extra money, and we REALLY need that right now. He said it looks like it'll be 11-hour days with one day off every other week, plus there are two holidays in November for which he'll get holiday pay. Not to mention working over the weekends. This is the first time he'll be gone with me NOT being pregnant! LOL The first time he was gone about three months before Grant was born. The second time he was gone about five months before Natalie was born. But, this is the first time I'm not working. It'll be me and the kids, 24/7. Thank God for school, b/c without it Abby might end up dead (more on that later). But, that means I'll have to drop her off and pick her up - every day. That'll be a HUGE disruption to our usual routine, and will necessitate an entirely new routine. But, I know we'll be fine. It'll be hard - especially since I won't have work as time away - but I know we'll be OK. God wouldn't have given me all three kids if I couldn't handle them. Plus, I think this was somewhat of a Divine appointment. Thursday, I had told DH that if he had an opportunity to go on a 30-day deployment, I'm behind him. He had been thinking of doing one, too. Yesterday he got notification that they're looking for someone. Now he's just waiting for his tasker and travel orders. I pray it comes soon, b/c I want him back for my birthday - December 12! I'm not sure what we'll do about Thanksgiving, but we'll figure it out.

Now the tricky part begins. It all started when I checked out my page on MySpace yesterday. I only get there once every month or two, and yesterday was my first time in quite a while. There was a ton of stuff on there, and getting caught up was a time-consuming venture. I knew that going into it, though. But, when I get to the blog updates, well, the one right on top says "P broke up with me" and is posted by my sister. About a year ago, my sister moved 800+ miles to be with him, and he out of the blue breaks up with her. He basically told her that he woke up one day and didn't love her anymore. Right. Asshole. Oh, yeah, and about a month ago she renewed her lease for another year, which makes it that much harder for her to come home. She's all but said that's what she wants to do. :-( My other sister and I were talking about this last night, and we are going to try to help her find a way home. Her job is another consideration, but I have no doubt that she'd be able to transfer back to her previous location without a problem. For starters, they loved her there. Plus, I've been told they're losing half their employees to a new store that's opening up. So, I think she'd have no problem on the job front. She'd likely move back in with our parents, which means she wouldn't have to pay rent or utilities. So, if worse came to worst, she could live there while paying her lease where she's at now. But that might work in her favor - I'm sure her landlord doesn't want her apartment vacant for almost a year. So, perhaps things can be worked out in her favor. I hope so. I know she needs to be home now - I can tell. When I read her blog and talk to her, I can sense it. My poor sweet sister! :-(

The only bright side to this is that it appears to be working to bring my other sister and me closer than we've been in quite some time. She and I were up late IM'ing last night, and got to talk about all sorts of things. We discussed our other sister's situation and are planning to light a fire under her ass to get her to come home. After talking about that, we discussed other things that I'm glad we did. Very personal, very old things. Family stuff, which I'm not going to share here. Probably not ever. Stuff that personal stays on Vox, where I have full control over who gets to read it. Anyway, that talking was good for us. We've not done any really substantial talk in so long. We needed that. I feel much better about our relationship now.

The flip side, though, is that it made me wonder. Without going into too much detail, I will share some of my thoughts. We discussed family stuff, which I mentioned previously. Part of what we talked about was how neither of us remembers much of our childhood at all. It's like we've got amnesia or something. We were talking about what we did remember, and I'm now wondering if things were much worse than I remember. Did I block it all out? Do I need therapy? Do I want to dig all of this up? I really don't know. To some extent it bothers me not knowing about my childhood. You know those questions people sometimes ask, like "what's your first memory?" or "what's your favorite childhood memory" or pretty much anything along those lines. Am I more fucked up than I'd ever even considered? It could explain a lot ... but, again, do I even want to go there? Maybe it's better not knowing. I guess I have a lot to consider. It won't be now, as I'll be busy enough during DH's absence for the time being. Plus, we also have to look into the financial side. Will insurance cover this? If so, how much? Do we need a referral? If not, can we even afford it? I really hate that the financial picture has to limit this. If I need therapy, I should be able to get it. But whatever. I guess for now I'll just keep on with my considerations. There's a lot to think about and a lot to consider. I suppose I should do so on my knees, too. Pray for wisdom, discernment, etc.

So, in my ponderings, I have many things I wonder. Is healing possible if you don't even know what the injury is? I'm sure superficial healing can happen, but can true - complete - healing happen when there's no idea what's the cause of any pain? I just don't know. So, I guess I'll be in prayer about this. I really can see no other way to go about this. I'm just grateful that I have the Lord to help me discern the right way to approach this.

I am running out of things to say, so I'll just stop here. I'll likely post more about this down the road. If you read it all, thanks for reading! :-)