Friday, March 26, 2010

Ugh

I am in a funk. I don't know why. I've been off-kilter and grumpy for a few days now. I don't get it. Is this the depression trying to rear its ugly head, or is something else going on?

I never know what to do when this happens. I try to pray, absorb myself in music (mostly Christian), try to read, etc. Often, that helps. Not this time. WHY? What the heck is going on?

My poor kids are getting a not-so-nice me lately. Now, I – of course – would never do anything to hurt them, but my patience and tolerance are low – VERY low. Perhaps I need a break? It's been quite some time since I've had a real break. I've been on my own a few times as of late, but they've all been for appointments – physical therapy and whatnot. Perhaps I need a real break – camp out at Panera with the book I'm currently editing, get a Chai tea latte, listen to music (otherwise I listen to others' conversations LOL), and just chill.

I dunno. I'll see if I can arrange some ME time this weekend. Hopefully that'll help.

Thanks for letting me "talk aloud" – I really needed that! :-)

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10 comments:

Christine D. said...

Sounds like an attack! Satan uses our emotions to attack us. It's his hope that we'll listen to them and give them more attention they deserve. I only know this because I read all about it in Joyce Meyer's book, "Managing Your Emotions." The best thing you can do is refuse to give in to how you're feeling. It's very hard in the beginning and your flesh will throw a tantrum...but remember if you submit to God and resist the devil, he'll flee from you. Also, keep praying. God put the fruit of joy in you, so praise Him alot and thank Him that His joy is your strength and is manifesting itself in you. Nothing makes satan run faster than praising God...he hates it!

I'll be praying for you as well. When you feel like your emotions are overwhelming you, it's totally okay to just cry out to God and say, "Please God, help me! Save me from these emotions that are threatening to overwhelm me" and He'll help you. You can put your mind, will and emotions in submission to Him. It takes practice, but it's the best thing you can do for yourself.

Love ya!

ham1299 said...

Thanks, Chris! An attack did cross my mind. I probably should read that book, too! So, how does one refuse to give in? What do you do to keep that from happening? Thanks for your prayers. I really appreciate it! Love you, too!

OutnumberedMama said...

Maybe this will brighten you day. The Easter Bunny came early for me and I think he left your basket on my blog. Come over and check it out: http://guidetosurvivingmotherhood.blogspot.com/2010/03/easter-bunny-came-early-for-me-and.html

ham1299 said...

Ooh, how cool! Yes, that does brighten my day - thank you! :-)

Christine D. said...

I can send you my copy if you would like! You can keep it. Let me know. But basically, the idea is to resist those emotions by reading the Bible and standing on God's Word until the symptoms start to subside. For instance, Joyce says how she used to wake up in the mornings and feel grouchy and her whole day she'd be an animal toward her husband and kids. Other mornings she'd wake up feeling depressed and she'd cry most of the day and curl up in bed. What she realized is that satan majorly plays on our emotions, especially if we're sensitive people in that area. And because most ppl believe what they feel, he can keep us from enjoying everyday life because the feelings he imposes on us are to keep us in bondage, miserable and tortured.

So what I've been doing is not letting my feelings dictate to me how I'm going to behave. If I wake up depressed, I mumble to myself over and over, "Praise God, because the joy of the Lord is my strength," and any other verses that focus on being happy. If I wake up feeling fearful or anxious, I go about my day and mumble things like, "God didn't give me a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." But I make sure that whatever I had planned that day I still do, and I still exercise patience with the kids. This is NOT easy....trust me. I'm nowhere near where I should be. BUT - I'm better than I was before, because I'm no longer at the mercy of my emotions tormenting me constantly. Kwim?

It's a really phenomenal book! I really feel like God led me to it.

ham1299 said...

Makes perfect sense. Are you sure you can part with the book? I can always get my hands on a copy - the hard part is finding the time to actually read it! ;-)

Christine D. said...

Oh, it's totally up to you! I'm happy to give you my book, but I will be honest and tell you that it's seen a little wear and tear...I read in the bath and it got a little wet at one point. *blush* You'd freak at the way I take care of my books! I dog ear pages, etc. lol

I hear ya on making time to read it! It's going to be such a blessing to you though that once you start it you're going to have trouble putting it down because you're going to learn alot and start to feel better at the same time. :-)

ham1299 said...

LOL EEEK! I can't believe you do that to books! ;-) Let me wait until I might have some time to actually read it before taking it off your hands. Is that OK?

Christine D. said...

Ha! Yeah, I'm trying to treat them better, but I'm lacking bookmarks (only have 1) so when I can't find something to use I just fold the corner of the page. LOL

Oh sure, whenever you're ready just let me know. :-)

ham1299 said...

When I don't have a bookmark, I use either a small Post-It or just a scrap of paper.

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