Saturday, May 1, 2010

Looking back, I'm not surprised

It's funny how when we start to move forward something always gets in the way. Whether it stops us in our tracks or not is entirely up to us. Getting past it can be HARD work – even painful at times. But, once you're on the other side, the work was so worth it.

This past week I had quite an experience of this particular sort. I am currently reading a book called Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul by John & Stasi Eldredge. (I know, this isn't my book blog, but bear with me, this is NOT about the book.) Here is the description from Goodreads.com:
Every little girl has dreams of being swept up into a great adventure, of being the beautiful princess. Sadly, when women grow up, they are often swept up into a life filled merely with duty and demands. Many Christian women are tired, struggling under the weight of the pressure to be a "good servant," a nurturing caregiver, or a capable home manager.
What Wild at Heart did for men, Captivating is doing for women. Setting their hearts free. This groundbreaking book shows readers the glorious design of women before the fall, describes how the feminine heart can be restored, and casts a vision for the power, freedom, and beauty of a woman released to be all she was meant to be. By revealing the core desires every woman shares-to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a grand adventure, and to unveil beauty-John and Stasi Eldredge invite women to recover their feminine hearts, created in the image of an intimate and passionate God. Further, they encourage men to discover the secret of a woman's soul and to delight in the beauty and strength women were created to offer.
I was PLOWING through this book. The rate at which I was reading it astounded even ME. While I tend to read good fiction rather quickly, I'm not so quick with other book types, normally. But this one really hit home with me. I found myself wanting to drink it all in, and it is an eye-opener, for sure! I was starting to make progress in my own life and my own mind.

And that's when it hit.

Wednesday night I was sicker than I've ever been in my life. I'll spare you the details, but suffice it to say that it was as far from beautiful as it could get. My poor (and WONDERFUL, I must add) husband was kept up most of the night, too. And he was stuck doing most of the cleaning up ...

Thursday, bless his heart, my awesome hubby stayed home to run the house. I spent 90% of the day asleep. I attempted to be social and/or helpful, but I could barely stand. I was just SPENT.

Yesterday, I woke feeling MUCH better. I'm almost back to 100% now, praise God! But, interestingly, I haven't been as motivated to pick up that book again. I'm not sure why. Part of it was just not having the energy to read, but now I don't have that excuse. I've lost the flame.

Isn't it just like Satan to do that? You start to make progress, you start to move forward, and BAM! He comes in and throws his worst at you! Choice words come to mind when I think about this! LOL (How ironic is that?) I told him in the midst of my agony Wednesday night/Thursday morning to just let it go. I will NOT let him take away what I'm gaining in reading this book and learning so much about what being a woman is. I told him that he CANNOT use this to take away the inner beauty. I will not allow him to rob me of what I've just so recently gained. I will not accept anything he's trying to give me.

And shortly thereafter, the truly disgusting/agonizing part of it all stopped and I was finally able to rest ...

Perhaps he decided against trying to further afflict me. Or perhaps God heard my refusal to take it, and had mercy on me. Or maybe I just got "lucky." (Nah, I don't believe in luck!) Whatever it was, I finally was able to rest and start recovering.

Now I just have to find the motivation – or whatever it is that I'm lacking – to get myself back into that wonderful book. This is a book I plan to read many times. It is THAT good and THAT helpful.

And, no, this post wasn't about the book. It was about how Satan will try to take away your progress the moment you start making confident steps forward. I think one very good point made in this book was proven true. Basically that the beauty God gave women is reflective of His glory. And in that glory and beauty is power. If Satan can keep us down – attack the very fabric of our being – he has less to fear.

No wonder women are so hated and so horribly treated worldwide!

I, for one, refuse to accept it. No longer will I buy Satan's lies about my beauty and my place in this world. No longer will I allow him to bind me with his chains.

Now I'm ready to finish the book.

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